Pacifica's Wish
by anxresi
Summary: It's Pacifica's birthday. She's a teenager, at last. But, thanks to her selfish, control freak parents, she isn't having a very good time. Until 9 o'clock strikes. Then... well, read it and find out! Based on a cartoon by the ALWAYS excellent moringmark. Dipcifica... Or, maybe not... Rated T for slightly more adult material in later chapters...
1. Chapter 1

Pacifica's Wish

(Once AGAIN I find myself indebted to a wonderful cartoon by moringmark for my inspiration behind this story. PLEASE check him out on tumblr and deviantart. And now, on with the show!)

What did YOU do on your birthday?

Go to the cinema?

Ice skating?

Have a few friends round?

Or just have a quiet day with your parents?

Me? I got woken up by two servants playing 'The Northwest Family Anthem' on party whistles (Yes, we have one. Sad, I know)

Yes, it is I Pacifica Elise Northwest. Heiress to the wealthiest family in Gravity Falls. Party crown champion. Four time winner of mini golf tournaments. Bleached blonde Valley Girl Stereotype Extraordinaire. And now, spotty teenager.

Not that those dreaded blackheads will ever show. My mega-expensive skin creams imported from Kuala Lumpur would see to that. Wouldn't want to tarnish the family name... by appearing less than Vogue-cover perfect in public now, would I?

So anyway... Here I am... At the start of my journey into 'the wonders of puberty', that obnoxious tune blaring into my head, teddy bear by my side. My parents said I should have 'thrown that old thing away YEARS ago' but why should I? After all, it's the only thing around here that lets me hug it.

I take a sip from the glass of mineral water on my bedside table, before it was time to get dressed. I wanted to wear something casual today, but my mother wouldn't hear anything of the sort. "OH NO" She remarked we're expecting some VERY illustrious guests. You must wear one of your BEST frocks. Off you go... Marjorie and Bethany will help prepare you.

At least she lets me wear my Lake Foam green dress, rather than that Sea Foam monstrosity. Be grateful for small mercies, and all that.

I'm made to stand there like a mannequin while the two overworked maids primp my hair, smother me with make-up, clip my nails, shave my legs and even tighten a CORSET around my non-developed chest. Geez, ladies... Last time I checked, I wasn't exactly obese. If it was any consolation, they didn't look too pleased with the task at hand either. This whole ritual takes all morning... There goes their tea break. Shame.

So, FINALLY, after Ms Cheerful and Mrs Smily have squeezed me into my gown, and even plonked a pathetic little party hat on my well coiffured bangs (as if that makes me feel any better), it's time to meet and greet the VIPs. With my mother to my left and my father to my right, we descend the stairs to a burst of rehearsed applause from those in attendance. Oh, joy. What fun we shall all have.

My dad had already warned me if I 'played up' like the last time there was a big celebration here full of visiting dignatories, then he'd 'get the bell out' and embarrass me in front of everyone. "This is our chance to restore our tarnished family name " he explained, " So any funny business from you young lady, and you can start looking for a new home...

Why did that threat not carry with it the same potency as it used to? And if by 'playing up' he meant saving the life of everyone in the mansion... Then I wouldn't mind misbehaving again.

First up was of course, the cutting of the cake. It was an ambitious creation, for sure... Three tiers of what were the finest ingredients available... Whipped up by award winning chefs who'd baked for lords and ladies, dukes and duchesses, queens and kings alike, the world over.

So why didn't I feel very hungry? Probably because of my dad giving me 'the eye' from the corner of the room, one hand placed threateningly on his suit pocket where a small instrument of terror was kept.

Focus, Pacifica. Focus. Play the part, that's all he wants you to do. Then, he'll leave you in peace. For now, anyway.

As for how it tasted, the small sliver I was allowed seemed okay. You see, I was on a very strict diet, set up by my personal trainer. No more than 500 calories a day. Can't have any heifers in the Northwest clan.

Next up was the opening of the presents. There were small gifts. Big gifts. Some that were far too big to be wrapped. Even a few that were ALIVE, so it would have been unethical to imprison them in a box. Not that that mindset has stopped my parents.

The presents themselves were the usual. Priceless vases. Golden jewellery. The best homemade cider. Golf clubs 'as used by Tiger Woods'. (So they're endorsed by a philanderer who isn't even ranked in the world's 100. Whoopee.) And even another peacock to add to my collection.

Seriously, why do we even have those things? All they ever do is leave feathers everywhere, peck at you if you get too close, or provide an obstacle to trip over. I wanted to keep pigeons instead, but my mother told me 'those scruffy rats with wings aren't NEARLY regal enough." So I guess I'm stuck with the narcissitic, shallow, squawking creatures... Oh, and the peacocks.

What I wouldn't have given for a Xbox. Or, even... A PS3. But, of course... The Northwests don't waste time on such pointless pursuits. Unfortunatly. Sigh.

Finally, the evening has arrived... And now it's time for everyone to mingle. I'm left on my own at last... My parents are too busy hob-nobbing with the rich and famous to bother with me, and here I am, stood in the middle of the polished-to-perfection hall, a servant pouring me a glass of cider (Damn it, I'm sick of that stuff) with a glazed expression on my face which I've worn virtually since the second I got up this morning.

Not that anyone noticed, of course. As long as I look great and say all the right things, what else matters?

Suddenly, my eyes glance to the right at the ornate clock. It reads 9:00 PM.

My heart almost leaps out of my chest.

It's time to go.

You see, dear reader, I haven't been entirely honest with you.

The fact is, I DO have something to look forward to today.

Two things, actually.

Their name are: Mabel. And Dipper.

They come from an irrelevant family line, known as the 'Pines'. Mabel is a crazy granola girl who loves to knit sweaters, play with her pet pig and watch awful boyband movies on VHS. Dipper is a puny nerd who spends half of his life with his nose stuck in a dumb book, and the other trying to prove how 'cool' he is to his peers. He never succeeds.

My parents would never approve of them in a million years. My parents think people like that are just serfs who are put on God's Green Earth to serve them. My parents...

Can go jump off a cliff.

They are the only REAL friends I've had.

I didn't have to bribe them.

I didn't have to impress them.

I didn't even have to resort to blackmail (like I did, that one time with... Never mind)

They looked past my snobbish act. They forgave my past transgressions. They understood the situation I was in with my 'devoted' mother and father.

Or should I say, my puppeteers and prison wardens.

They got to know the real me. The one they affectionately call 'Paz'. I like girly things and stickers, like Mabel. I like adventures and video games... Like dipper.

Oh, and I absolutely LOATHE mini golf. And peacocks. And apple cider. Did I say those last two already?

Thanks to them, I know how to share. To be kind to others. To be my own person (Though not with my parents around... I'm still working on that).

Basically, my life would have been a LOT duller, and much less fun if it weren't for those goofy twins coming to Gravity Falls on vacation this summer. Without them, I'd probably still be walking around with my posse of mean girls, criticising everything without a care in the world.

They opened my eyes.

Aside from my new attitude shift, I even went on a few adventures with them occasionally... I've already nearly had my foot bitten off by a Multibear, fallen down a bottomless pit and even been chased by hormonic gnomes.

And that's just in ONE week.

But you know what?

I simply don't care.

I'm having the time of my life... And not in a corny, Dirty Dancing way either.

But, sadly...

All good things must come to an end...

And they're going back to Piedmont in a few days.

And this'll probably be the last time I get to see them, before...

No, Pacifica... Don't think about it...

Just enjoy tonight...

I hike up my dress, and creep towards the window... Glancing at my parents on the way. My dad's doing his whole 'lampshade on his head' routine. Hilarious. NOT. Still, the assorted sycophants, lackeys, toadies and yes-men clustered around him find it funny enough. Perhaps, I'm missing something.

As for my mom, she's flirting with one of the visiting princes from the Middle East. As soon as she gets a better offer, she'd in all likelihood dump my father and go off with her new beau. 'Upgrading', she'll call it. Ugh.

Still, who cares. They can do what they want. My singular focus is sneaking out... undetected. I climb onto the window pane, tie a pre-prepared rope made of blankets and jump outside, taking special care not to rip the delicate fabric of my outfit. If I did that they'd WANT to know how it got torn. And they have certain 'methods' of getting me to spill the beans...

There I go again. Overthinking everything. This moment is about ME, and my new friends. I cast all negative thoughts aside, and glance around for the light Dipper said he'd shine in the forest. There it is. And there's the dufus himself, with an awkward grin on his face, waiting to greet me. Like most boys his age, he's not the best in social situations. That's something I'm trying to help him with, seeing as how him and his sister have done so much for me already.

Speak of the devil... There she is. Wearing a sweater with a big heart emblazoned on it, and smiling like a certain cat from a Lewis Carroll novel. She gives me a quick wave, before darting over and enveloping me in the most loving of embraces (Get it, braces? Hardy ha ha). "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PAZ!" she gushes, and I can't help but laugh with her. After the sterility and organised boredom of the day so far, this is a beautiful, genuine moment.

We part, and Dipper starts to walk away, "Follow me, Pacifica. I'll show you where we've set it up." Nearby was a tent. No doubt full of all manner of creepy crawlies. Freezing cold. With horrible creatures roaming around outside. A total sea change from the austere surroundings I'd just abandoned.

I couldn't be more pleased.

Mabel grabbed my hand and pulled me in under the canvas, just behind Dipper. It was just as tatty inside as I'd imagined. No decorations. No fountains. No tables full of unpronouncable food. No fancy waiters. No pretentious guests. No in-house band playing classical music.

It was absolutely perfect.

Well, there was ONE thing. A single cupcake, with one candle lit, stood in the centre of the tent. Dipper ushered me and Mabel to sit down, as we all stared at the flickering light.

I was mesmerised by it. I couldn't help but think, that the flame was like my time with the twins this summer. Something so small, so full of life, and wonder... But soon to be snuffed out.

I wouldn't even have the chance to celebrate their own birthday with them, as they were heading back to California the day before. Life sucks, sometimes.

I've discovered what it is to have TRUE friends for the first time in my life. People who care about you, regardless of how hefty your bank balance is. People who'll be there for you, if you're related to the town founder or not (And I'm not... But that's another story). And people who let you be yourself... Who have no expectations about how you behave, or how you dress... They simply want you to be happy.

And now... I'm expected to give all that up? And revert back to who I was, to please my parents?

Can I do that?

Do I WANT to do that?

"Erm, Pacifica"... Suddenly, I saw a couple of fingers clicking in front of my line of vision. I looked over, and it was Dipper, looking concerned. "Are you alright? I thought we'd lost you there for a minute. You seemed to be in another galaxy." I blushed, and apologised. "Sorry, it's been a LONG day. I've had a lot of my mind recently, as well."

Mabel's eyes started sparkling for some reason, and she pulled a face, which was somewhere between a smile and a grimace. "Dipper, tell her about some of the stuff YOU'VE had on your mind lately too. Like, your crus... OW!" Dipper elbowed his sister in the shoulder, with a flustered expression on his face, while I felt just as confused . "SHE DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT! Ignore Mabel, I think she's been at the Smile Dip ... Tell you what. You make a wish Pacifica, then I'll cut the 'cake'. Does that sound like a good idea... YUCK!"

Mabel had recovered from her nudge, and was seeking her revenge by licking Dipper's earlobe. He responded by pushing her off him and pinning her to the ground, and there then followed a spirited, yet harmless skirmish between two 'loving' siblings. Dipper was trying to sit on her, while Mabel was attempting to use her tongue as a lethal weapon.

Eventually, when it looked like the tent was in danger of collapsing due to all the fidgeting, I decided to put a stop to the arresting spectacle. "ALRIGHT, YOU TWO! Settle down. I'm about to make my wish."

"WHAT?!" Mabel immediately scooted off her brother and sat adjacent to me. Dipper, looking somewhat dazed, followed suit (No prizes for guessing who had the upper hand in that little confrontation).

"GO ON, PAZ! THEN TELL US WHAT YOU WISHED FOR!" Mabel was so excited, she looked ready to burst. Dipper rolled his eyes "Er, Mabel, if she did that it wouldn't come true." Aww, not fair said Mabel, looking crestfallen. "Oh, I've got an idea! If you write it down... And show us later... D'ya think that'll count..."

"SHHH... I'M TRYING TO THINK!" All I wanted was a little peace and quiet. This was going to take some deliberation. What exactly DID I want? I was the richest girl around. I could probably afford to have the Statue Of Liberty packed up and transported over here... Lock, stock and barrel. What was possibly missing from my life that I couldn't...

Then, it hit me. The one thing money couldn't buy. The greatest gift of all. Something the twins had unknowingly bestowed on me. I smiled... And blew out the candle.

Mabel appeared ready to shriek with excitement. Dipper just grinned in his gawky way. I glanced at both of them, and for the first time that day... There was a feeling of hope.

Because if my wish came true... Perhaps it wouldn't be such a long goodbye after all.

(PLEASE comment!)

:)


	2. Chapter 2

(YES! Part two of this fic, brought back by popular demand. You lucky, lucky people you...)

Well, this was it.

The day the two most important people to me in my life were being taken away

And no... I'm NOT talking about my parents.

HA HA HA, good joke.

I mean, the pair of kids who saved my birthday from being a totally staged borefest.

Mabel and Dipper Pines.

You... DID know that right?

If you didn't, then go back and read Chapter One.

I don't write this thing for pleasure, ya know.

Stupid.

Anyway, it turns out...

And this may rock your world...

Boggle your mind...

Cause you to never see things the same way again...

But desperate birthday wishes

DON'T work.

*Pauses for shock effect*

Okay, okay.

I'm overstating things a bit.

It was always gonna be a long shot.

But surely if SOMEONE deserved a miracle.

It was me, Pacifica Northwest.

"Hang on" you might think

"What's she got to complain about"

"She's got a hundred servants at her beck and call"

"Thousands of dollars in disposable pocket money"

"And friends who'll follow her to the ends of the Earth."

All of this is, of course, true.

But have you, by any chance, heard of something called...

'Reading between the lines'?

Let me spell it out for you:

(For the benefit of you slower readers)

The SERVANTS are mostly there to make sure I do as I'm told

And stifle my free will.

Great job, guys.

The MONEY is only allowed to spent on gaudy trinkets that will uphold the Northwest name

Nothing I actually want, of course

(Although, the chiffon jackets are pretty sweet)

As for my FRIENDS...

You know, those two girls who follow me around everywhere

Tiff... and ...Something...

Well, let's just say...

If my wallet did a runner tomorrow...

They'd disappear roughly two seconds later.

One second, if there was a sale on

Now, do you see...

Why I thought it was normal...

For all these years...

To treat people like *****...

If my only point of reference...

Was an environment like THIS?

With butlers who doubled as spies?

Maids as enforcers?

Pals who were as much accessories as my Ug boots?

And my mother...

Telling me it doesn't matter what you are on the inside...

It's what outside that counts.

Yeah, pretty much the opposite of the moral of every cheesy film you've ever seen.

But, she means it.

You should see her make up room.

It's bigger than my walk-in closet.

Now, THAT'S frightening.

As for the man laughably referred to as my Dad...

Well, where do I start?

The conditioning?

The bullying?

The solitary confinement?

The slaps?

The insults?

The total absence of anything resembling love?

Dad?

Despot, more like.

Maybe trainer, if I was feeling nice.

Sufficed to say

A pretty toxic mix all round

All of which contributed to the wonderful daughter I became

A true credit to the Northwest name

In case you haven't realised by now

This is NOT a compliment

And I probably would have remained the same lovely individual

If it hadn't been for that dumb party at the ramshackle dump

Called The Mystery Hack

(Yes, I know that's not right

But I absolutely refuse to refer to it by it's proper name

Until that lazy Great Uncle of theirs

Puts that extra letter back up

Oh, forget it

I'll just hire some of my own people to do that

When the twins are gone

My way of making up to him for the whole tomato incident on pioneer day

Ya know?)

I didn't think much of winning that plastic crown at the time

Just another victory over the lower class

Achieved using bribery and threats

But what WAS new

Is that the loser, Mabel

And her two weird friends

Didn't seem that bothered about finishing second

While I was on my way to my parent's yacht

To party with a bunch of freeloaders

They were having an even better time

Getting to know each other

And singing karaoke (badly)

This puzzled me at the time

Surely...

That girl with the fat old lady's name...

Should be crying in the corner...

Humiliated by her superior in every way...

But, nope...

It was like water off a duck's back...

She just carried on as if nothing had happened...

Being her usual happy-go-lucky self

This went against EVERYTHING I'd EVER been taught...

HOW DARE SHE!

HOW DARE SHE NOT ACKNOWLEDGE MY MAGNIFICENCE!

HOW DARE SHE NOT LET ME RUIN HER EVENING!

HOW DARE SHE TREAT A RUNNER'S UP SPOT LIKE IT WAS NOTHING!

If it had been ME in that position

It would have meant being grounded for a week, minimum

I completely flipped my lid.

And VOWED to crush her the next time we met

And that's exactly want happened

I thought at the time I was doing her a favour

By verbally eviscirating her on that stage

In front of hundreds of people

Letting her know her proper place, you know

But now I look back at it...

It was probably just jealousy talking

A prisoner in a gilded cage

Attacking a poor person with free will

Yes, that about sums it up

I think I know who I envy most now

And it ain't me

And when her geeky brother

Showed me the TRUTH behind my family's lies

The first of many cracks started appearing

In my family's oh-so-perfect facade

And my unassailable descent into cold, hard clarity

Had begun

It sounds like I'm angry, but you know what?

I'm so grateful I am not sure at all I could ever express my thanks sincerely enough

They've saved me from...

Well...

Becoming HIM

It might not sound very much...

But, believe me...

It IS

And now, hanging out with those two

Mabel, with her free spirited ways

Love of homemade woollen garments

Addiction to mildly dangerous sweet suppliments

And slightly concerning infatuation of farmyard animals

With Dipper, nose always stuck in a dumb book

His laughable attempts at being 'cool'

The fact he can ALWAYS stumbles over his own words

The cute way he blushes whenever he's around me...

(Wait, what am I saying?)

These are genuine people, with foibles and flaws

And yet, so much to give in terms of friendship...

For which, they ask NOTHING in return

My father would choke on his bourbon at the mere concept of such an idea

But, it's true

I've experienced it first hand

In your face, papa

Oh, and by the way...

It was ME who dirtied your favourite carpet this morning just before I left the house

I wonder who gave me THAT idea?

Tee-hee, I'm such a rebel

Anyway, insight into my private thoughts OVER

Let's get to the meat of the story

As I said, about two thousand words ago now,

Birthday wishes don't work

Do you know how I can tell?

Well, mine went something like this:

(PLEASE make it so that the Pine Twins don't have to go home

O God Of Cakes

They're about the only ones keeping me sane these days

My parents are really cracking down on my personal freedoms now

And if I don't have an outlet to be myself

I'm afraid I'll go absolutely beserk

And spend my 14th at the looney bin

It doesn't have to be anything big

And no-one has to get hurt

Just a minor earthquake would do the trick

Or, a small hurricane

Just enough for their flight home to be delayed

So they'll have to return

And maybe, Dipper can tell me more about gnomes and zombies

And I can FINALLY get the hang of this 'sharwwing' thing

It's not asking too much, is it?

If you can do this one small thing for me...

I promise to be more gentle with the knife when slicing you up next year

And I'll even put more icing on top

You know it makes sense

Yours sincerely

PEN

P.S Those are my initials

Weird, huh?)

I am sure the Cake God

Is used to recieving much more concise wishes than that

But, what can I say?

I'm a girl with a lot on her mind

Perhaps it was a mistake making it so long, though

He's probably still reading it

And hasn't had time to put his no doubt brilliant plan into effect

Or maybe, as I suggested in my drawn-out soliloquy

I've gone totally fruit loopy

There IS no 'God Of Cakes'

And the only lasting reminder of that birthday

Will be the time I lost the remaining vestiges of my sanity

Can you see it now?

My own room at the local asylum

(Probably next to McGucket,

Toby Determined

Or countless others in this whacked out town)

'Elise Can't-make-out-the-surname' on the door

Disowned by her family for being completely bonkers

They can't be all bad, though

They've paid in advance for her to stay here for the next 100 years

WOO HOO!

And I suppose a white sleeveless jacket

Would make a change from my usual purple ensemble...

Oops, I'm daydreaming again

Sorry about that

Helps contextualise things, you see

You see, my point is...

THe twins are off TODAY

With no intervention from any supernatural entity...

Pastry based, or otherwise...

And I'm on my way now...

To... Say...

...Goodbye...

Possibly...

For... Good...

Damn, Pacifica...

You only put on that mascara this morning...

What have those two done to you...

You used to be so strong, and confident...

(And selfish, and mean spirited)

Now you're weak, and emotional...

Crying in the middle of the street like that...

What would your parents thi...

And just like that...

I realised I didn't care any more...

About my supposed 'reputation'...

And the life lessons that had been forced on me...

Installed into my memory like I was some kind of evil genius's harddrive...

For the first time...

Since I was a baby...

I cried

Oh, we're not talking about a couple of tears

Not "I just stubbed my toe, I'll be alright in a minute"

We're talking about burst dams

A complete washout

A tsunami

Climb on Noah's Ark

Every man for himself

"How pathetic you are, Pacifica"

I could almost hear my father whispering in my ear

"We didn't raise you this way"

But, For The First Time In Forever

I could Let It Go

(Sorry, putting in references

helps alleviate some of the sappiness)

The horrible voice faded from my consciousness

As I continued to wring myself dry

Inbetween exaggerated sobs

You may think

"Geez, Pacifica

Doncha think you're overdoing it a bit?"

Well, what you're got to understand

Is this isn't just about those two lovable goofballs leaving

Oh no

This is all the years of

Pain

Torment

Lies

Abuse

Misery

And probably a few more nouns that won't come to me in the midst of my pity party

Wanna come...?

There's free cake...

(Don't mention cake)

I could perhaps have done with a hug right now...

But there was no-one around...

And besides...

Even though I think I am changing for the better...

I still have my pride...

And I'm not quite ready for a Mabel-sized intervention just yet.

So, I stop the incessant racket emitting from my mouth

Wipe my tears away

(With a little snot)

And get back on the route to the hovel

(I hope my face isn't too red)

Nearly there now

Look... I can see the taxi that's taking them to the airport...

And...

They're already inside it?!

I must have been blubbing longer than I thought

I quickly run towards the vehicle

I immediately spot a few familiar faces

There's that ginger lumberjack beanpole who works behind the counter

I don't know much about her

But Dipper says she's cool

Though her dad's a bit of a psycho

And there's that giant servant of theirs... Sue, I think is his name

(Strange monicker for a bloke)

He seems a bit simple minded

I like his taste in W necks, though.

And look, there's Fork Hands and Lizard Lady...

I really shouldn't call them that

It's just I don't know their real name

A situation I intend to rectify ASAP

Along with quite a few other things I've done wrong over the years

(It's a LLOONNG list, put it that way)

Last but not least

Is the two Stans

The older, ugly one

And the younger, slightly less ugly one

Apparently, they're twins too...

So what's with the age difference?

Dipper says he'll explain it all to me one day...

I just hope he'll get the chance.

I look at all these faces...

And realise...

They look like mine must do now...

Well, at least I can blend in...

I continue to run...

What the...

The door to the taxi is closing...

The engine is revving...

They're driving away...

In the opposite direction...

Nnnoo...

Stop...

DAMN THESE HEELS...

I can't even attract their attention

If only... If only...

I wasn't such a cry baby...

I could have got there in time...

The vehicle...

Is fading into the distance...

I feel a hand on my back...

It's the older Stan...

"Sorry kid

They REALLY wanted to see you

But they couldn't wait any longer

They had to be in time for their flight

Here, they wanted me to give you these"

I looked at what he was offering...

A piece of paper with their contact details on it

(As if my parents would let me do THAT)

A llama sweater from Mabel

Looks scratchy...

And lastly

A letter

From Dipper

Oh no...

I can real the tears coming again...

And this time...

There are people round...

I can't help myself...

I grab onto the nearest person...

Who happens to be Stan...

And start bawling my eyes out...

"What must he think of me" I wonder...

And then...

I hear sniffling...

It's not coming from me...

And before those around us knew what was happening...

The two people who you'd say would be the LEAST likely to...

Were clinging onto each other...

In the middle of a small puddle

And you know what else?

It hadn't rained for weeks


	3. Chapter 3

THREE YEARS LATER...

"GIVE ME YOUR LUNCH MONEY" I shouted at the pathetic, hunched, overweight figure in front of me. "YOU COULD STAND TO GO ON AN DIET ANYWAY!"

My two partners in crime, holding the target of my derision, laughed at my remark as I held my palm open to her, expectantly.

"No, please!" She sniffled. "My mom has to work all week to get me this money, and we can't afford to lose..."

"And that's my problem HOW?!" I pulled my face up close to hers, so she could see the malice in my eyes. "Listen, I don't care about your pathetic mother or any of your sad little family. I'm PACIFICA NORTHWEST. I ALWAYS get what I want." I bared my oh-so-white teeth. "NOW HAND IT OVER!"

Looking utterly broken, and with a fair few tears running down her chubby cheeks, my victim for the day eventually came to the right conclusion, and dug deep in her pocket for the five dollars I knew she had on her. Snatching it away, I nodded at my two friends Tiffany and Chantal (I finally remembed their names... HURRAY!) to set her free.

But before she had a chance to run off, I grabbed her by her collar and hissed. "Don't forget, same time, same place, tomorrow. And you better not forget! I know people... And I could make life VERY uncomfortable for you 'round here."

And with that last threat, I released her to go and blub her little fat heart out in the girls bathroom. My two besties found her distress absolutely hilarious, and I could hear them telling me "You showed her, Cif!" "Why do we have to go to school with losers like that, anyway?"

Me? I didn't laugh at all. Not even a chuckle. And it's not like I even needed her five dollars (In fact, I planned to burn it on the way home )The main things I got out of picking on those I considered inferior to me were as follows.

Power. I put those losers in their place, and made sure that every day I broke their spirit, so they'd KNOW who the queen of the schoolyard is.

Control. By humiliating them through intimidation and bullying , they'd gotten used to obeying my every command. The perfect preparation for the day when I took over the Northwest empire.

Distraction. These antics, as crude as they may seem, helped taked focus away from the gaping hole in my...

"Hey Cif, are you okay? You aren't becoming a space cadet, are you?" I suddenly felt a tug on my arm from Tiffany. She's the one with the penchant for designer handbags, and giving swirlies to nerds. "Because that would be like, TOTALLY uncool." She wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Watch what you say to her!" shouted Chantal, the dimmer of my duo of followers who always seemed to come to class wearing the same colours as me "She was probably thinking about the GREAT party we're having tonight for her 16th. It's gonna be TOTALLY AWESOME! " She shrieked those last two words in an irritating girlish screech.

Then, she paused for a minute herself, as if she was trying to figure out some complicated mathematical equation (To be fair, for her, that could be 2+2). At last, she asked "We ARE still invited, right?"

"Of course you are!" I reassured both of them. "It's gonna be off the chain! There's gonna be fireworks, the biggest buffet you've ever seen, pony rides, a fashion show, a mini cinema... And guess who'll be providing the music..."

The two of them looked at each other, before going back to me with slowly developing expressions of amazement. "You don't mean..." Tiffany gasped.

"Yep, Sev'ral Timez... AND they're premiering their latest single... AND they're devoting it to me!" I boasted, while glancing haughtily at my minions. And no, I don't mean those little yellow guys.

"OMG! OMG!" Came the predictable response from the pair, and they immediately went into what can only be described as a full blown girly meltdown. There was screaming, there was jumping, there were kisses on the cheeks, and then there was the hugs. I enjoyed basking in their affection, as pitiful as it was.

Apart from the hugging. It reminded me too much of that night at my manor, when...

Chantal offered a handy interruption. "GIRLFRIEND! This is like, the BEST NEWS EVER! we'll be able to tell everyone we saw them LIVE, in person! And we have you to thank for that! That's why you're top of the food chain in this pitiful little town, Cif. No-one else could pull THIS off!" She exclaimed in delight.

I examined my nails, while arrogantly grinning "Yes, it is true isn't it? I am pretty cool. AND hot. Why else would I be going out with the top quarterback of the team? Everything must meet MY standards. And Chad is the only one around here good enough for me. You'll see him tonight, too. In fact, EVERYONE who's anyone will be there. Because you know our number one rule..."

"NO RIFF RAFF!" We yelled in unison, before falling about giggling on the floor.

My laughter felt somewhat forced though, but I brushed it aside. After all... What could I possibly have to worry about? I had a huge party to look forward too. A total hunk as my date. A massive inheritence coming my way. And pretty much everyone's respect to do as I pleased.

...Was it respect, or fear? Whatever, who cares... Both of them accomplise the same thing now. I guess...

Just then, the bell rung to interrupt my private thoughts. Good. I didn't like to think for too long. It made stuff too complicated. Damn my emotions. I wish I could purge my brain of every single one. It would make things SO much easier.

Incidentally... You may be wondering why I didn't even flinch when the bell sounded. Well, let's just say I got over my fear of THAT particular musical instrument some time ago. It's not like my parents have had to use it for ages, anyway. I'm pretty much the finished article of what they'd envisioned for me from the day I was born now.

My pals tutted at this interruption to our little friendship 'moment', but had little choice but to obey it's shrill tone.

"Oh well, back to sitting with all the freaks and weirdos. Call you later, Cif!" Tiffany waved as she made her way back into class, pushing a girl with glasses off a water fountain as she walked past her. I just rolled my eyes... Classic Tiff.

Chantal just stood there. I could tell she was thinking of bunking off to go down the mall... NOT a good idea if you're as far behind as she is. I took her hand. "Tell you what, Chan... If you manage to stay in school for the rest of the day, I'll see to it you get a PERSONAL meet-and-greet with Sev'ral Timez this evening. How does THAT sound?!"

As predicted, her face looked ready to explode with excitement, and it seemed like she was ready for round 2 of acting like a complete loon in the school corridor. Mindful of this fact, I put my hand on her mouth, just before the eruption could take place.

"Listen, there's just one more condition" I firmly stated.

"Uh huh" she mumbled between my delicate fingers.

"Don't come tonight in a lake foam dress, D'ya think you can manage that?" I pleaded.

"Uh huh". She nodded her head. Thinking she was over the worse of her almost-outburst, I released her from my grip.

She started jibber-jabbering almost immediately. "Yes Cif, whatever you say... Cif, I've got this lovely pink dress at home that I haven't worn yet... In fact, I think the tickets still in there... Do you think Deep Chris will like it... What about...

"GO!" I said, slowly losing my patience (not to mention, the will to live) Chantal looked a bit taken aback for a moment, but acceded to my demands and gradually moved off, but not without glancing behind her and waving to me every few steps. I sighed... WHY exactly did I hang out with her again?

Oh yeah, cos she's loaded. Reason enough, I guess.

As I was about to return to my own group for the session (Business studies, FYI) I suddenly felt a pair of arms grasp me from behind, as two hands made their way towards my... Unmentionables. I gasped, and spun round, ready to slap the tar out of whoever was responsible for this outrage...

I stopped mid swing and stared. It was Chad.

Yep, all 6'3 muscle of him. About the only good football player Gravity Falls had ever seen. Record point scorer. A perfect mix of beauty, brawn and brai... Well, two outta three ain't bad. A total hunk, and a dreamboat to match.

And he was all mine.

Suck on that, ladies.

"Hey, watch it with that hand, P!" (Seriously, does NO-ONE call me by my proper name round here?!) He grumbled, as I lowered my wrist. "This face doesn't just take care of itself, ya know."

I sighed at his vanity, but chose to ignore it."You've got to stop creeping up on me like that. You know I hate it when you do that."

" Babe, I KNOW you love it when I do that." He gave me that sickly sweet grin he thinks I love (I don't). "Don't act like that. Especially, after I'm getting to see the whole enchilado tonight." He winked after that last part.

"Yes, yes, I know". I told him, without much enthusiasm. Yes indeedy... Tonight was indeed THE night. Not just the day I turned 16, but also the day when I officially become a woman. Both of my besties popped their cherries AGES ago (at least, that's what they told me) So I guess now it's time for my own 'rites of passage' to begin. So, why don't I feel more excited...?

"That's right babe, just you and me. I promise to make you feel real good. See you in the back of my car at midnight. Now, I have a game to win. GO FALLERS! WOOOOOO!" He put his helmet on, and I watched as the last of the great romantics made his way over to a crowd of his fellow jocks, hooting and hollering.

Off to discuss how he's going to nail the Northwest girl tonight, of course. Oh well, let him have his little moment. I'm the best damn thing that's ever happened to him, that's for sure. He BETTER be grateful...

Hang on, I know what you're all thinking at this juncture. How on EARTH did the remorseful, redeemed, transformed, nice Pacifica turn into this horrible, egotistical, spoiled little snot? Well, I'll tell you reader. Just, come closer. Come on now... I won't bite... Come on... That's it... Are you ready? Well, here goes...

SPLASH!

That's me pouring a bucket of cold, hard reality on your head. Doesn't feel very good, does it?

And yet, it's what I've learned. Probably the greatest lesson I've ever been taught.

First of all, I must apologise to my parents. They WERE right all along. What I construed as child abuse at the time was actually them toughening me up for the cruel dog-eat-dog world out there, where nice guys truly finish last and only the ruthless survive.

All this crap about happy endings and living your dreams... It's a complete load of baloney. The minute I opened myself up to the world... The second I began to have hope that there was something besides what life had planned for me... Was the very day I had my heart broken. Irreparably.

It was the worst day of my young life. Worse than all the insults my dad had thrown at me, worst than all the time he hit me (out of love, I know that now), worse than all the days and nights he locked me in a cupboard combined. And, that's saying something, considering the frequency that these events occurred.

But, all that's over with now. I'm back on the straight and narrow, the very path my ancestors trod. I've lied, cheated, threatened and bullied my way to the top of this stupid little educational establishment, and I'm not about to loosen my grip anytime soon. I just wish I felt a bit better about it, that's all...

Still, that doesn't matter. My mother and father LOVE me again! Sure... There was a bit of a rough period when I was 12 when it looked like I might be tempted into a more altruistic lifestyle, and they may have had to increase the severity of their methods to return me to normal, but in the end they didn't have to bother with all that.

The letter took care of my little rebellion.

Do you want to know what it said?

Okay I'll tell you.

Remember, though... This is all from the depths of my memory, so I may have got some of the wording.

After all, I tore it up ages ago.

 _Dear Pacifica_

 _This is just a hasty note, scribbled quickly because our ride has just arrived and we have to get going. I'm so sorry you weren't here to see us off... Not just because we wanted to say goodbye but also I have so much I want to tell you... So much I want to show you... If only we had more time... Damn, these short summers._

 _All I can say now is please remember my words to you in that secret room at your house... "Just because you're your parents daughter, it doesn't mean you have to be like them." You are who YOU choose to be, Pacifica. Don't EVER let ANYONE take that away from you. I PROMISE to contact you from Piedmont at the earlier opportunity, and return to Gravity Falls as soon as I can... After all, there's so much else to document around these parts, it would take much more than just one summer to write it all down. Oh, and to hang with you again, of course. Who'd have thought I'd have been saying THAT after our first meeting, when I handed you those papers through the window of your limo, ha ha._

 _Mabel sends her love... As well as a...er... 'nice' sweater she INSISTS is made out of real llama hair (Not sure how that's a selling point). Please wear it for her next time we're in town... Which will hopefully, be next year. Can't wait to see you again... And call us ANY time you want help, advice or just to chat. We're ALWAYS there for you. Be safe._

 _Yours sincerely_

D

(With a rather messily scrawled M xxxxxxxxx next to it, along with a strange picture of a half pig/goat thingie)

As you can imagine, I was very upset at the time... I even found myself hugging the town's biggest con-artist in a contest to see who could cry the loudest and the longest (It was a draw, if you must know). The one and only competition I was MORE than happy not to win.

Still, I intended to put his words into action. I started to befriend the residents of the Mystery Shack.

Wendy told me about her large family's lumberjacking history (she seemed surprised when I informed her I'd had my own experience with a ghost from that lineage).

Soos (Better than Sue, but still a bizarre name ) let me know about his own struggles with family, and how he'd found a new one in that little hovel. I also realised he wasn't a 'servant', but was a fully paid, highly valued member of staff. Go figure.

Stanford (The younger of the two older Pines siblings) began telling me stories about awful things he's seen in other dimensions, and stressed the importance of avoiding some triangle guy called Bill. I dunno... sounds somewhat comedic to me. An evil Dorito? LOL!

Stanley, strangely enough, was the one I connected with the most. He told me how he was a gruff, unpleasant man who only thought about profit... Until he met the twins. He still is, to some extent... But they had a very positive effect on him... And now, he felt like he was becoming 'a better person' due to their influence. Just like they had... On me.

For a little while, at least.

Aside from that, I did try to break bread with Grenda and Candy by apologising to their faces. They gracefully accepted, and I FINALLY learned their names, but we were a long way from being friends. Some people are just too different, I guess. At least I got to see Grenda's pet pluck a fly out of thin air with it's tongue. That was pretty cool.

Lastly, I put that S on the MYSTERY SHACK sign... Only for it to fall straight down again. What a waste of money, hiring those guys to do it. Cost me a whole week's pocket money. GRR. I guess it'll always be known as the Mystery Hack. Whatever.

Despite all these new friendships though, nothing quite came close to filling the Pines shaped void in my life. I missed them like crazy... Although, if you told them that, I'd deny it, under pain of death.

At least I had their phone conversations to look forward to. But weeks and months past... And still, nothing. Had they forgotten about me? Was all that stuff Dipper had written down just to make me feel better? Fall and Winter flew by... Complete silence. Soon Spring was nearly over... Still no word. Eventually, despite the risks attached, I realised something. I had to know.

I went down to the Shack that day, and decided to ask my new friends there for their advice.

But, something was different. Wendy and Soos weren't there. Stanford had locked himself in his ground floor laboratory, refusing to come out. Even Stan, sitting in his office, wasn't saying much. All I could get out of him was that the twins wouldn't be coming that summer. Then, he asked me to leave. He half threw me out, in fact.

So I did it. With no other options, I rung them up myself. A few miles out of town, obviously... I couldn't take ANY chances as far as my parents were concerned. I fished out their contact details which I'd kept treasured in my purse, and dialed the number.

BEEP BEEP

It's ringing

BEEP BEEP

Any minute now...

BEEP BEEP...

"COME ON, PICK UP!"

BEEP... "Hello?"

"Dipper, is that you?"

"Pacifica?"

"I was just wondering how you were... You never called me..."

"Er... Listen, Pacifica, this REALLY isn't a good time..."

"Huh? But you said..."

"Pacifica! Please, understand what I'm saying! I can't talk to you right now!"

"Dipper? What's the matter? You don't sound like yourself."

"I can't explain... Just... Just please, hang up now..."

"But, Dipper..."

"Okay, guess I'll to do it for you... Goodbye, Pacifica..." *CLICK*

"DIpper?! Dipper!"

But, there was no-one there.

The little **** had put the phone down.

So, being the fool I was, I rung him back.

This time no-one answered at all.

I tried again.

And again.

Still nothing.

Until eventually, it went straight through to voicemail.

I sat down, unable to cope...

With the obvious truth...

Everything...

Everything he had said to me...

Had turned out...

To be a lie...

I could feel myself welling up AGAIN...

My eyes filling with water...

Just like the day the twins left...

But, then...

Something inside me clicked

Instead of collapsing like I did before...

I calmly stood up...

Wiped the tears away...

And went back home

To have a big clearout

Out to the dump went:

A tartan scarf Wendy had given me

A kid's wrench that had once been Soos's

A parchment and ink from Stanford

A tiny fez gifted to me by Stanley

A horrible, itchy llama sweater from You-Know-Who

And last, but not least...

A certain little cap wearing

LIAR's

Letter, nicely torn up into a million pieces

(Just so the binmen wouldn't have so much trouble taking it away, you know)

Along with him and his crazy sister's home address and phone details

All of them presents

All of them useless

I didn't need them

And I didn't need the LOSERS that had given them to me

How dare they...

Make me lower my defences...

Make me feel for the first time...

Make me hope for something better...

And then, just abandon me...

As if I was NOTHING

Well, that was the turning point...

I stopped going down the Shack...

And into town altogether, come to think of it

I reconnected with my parents...

Said I was sorry for ever doubting them...

Told them they were right about everything

And swore to be their good little girl from now on

And together, with my two BFF's...

We took on a project to Rule The School

Which meant, basically...

Picking on everyone who was different in anyway

To let them know...

Who OWNS them

And that NO poor person

Would EVER put me on their level ever again

Sometimes, I must admit...

I did feel a teensy, wincy bit of regret

When I saw that fear in their eyes...

Begging to be left alone

But, then I remember the content of that last telephone conversation

And the way those I had trusted had shunned me...

And I just redoubled my efforts...

Blocking everything out, except the sounds of their misery

This was my life now, reader.

Don't like it?

WELL, SUCK ON IT THEN!

I walked to my next class, fed up of dredging up the past.

What good did THAT ever do?

When suddenly, the static of the tannoy was heard.

An announcement.

" *FIZZLE* Would Pacifica Northwest please come to the principal's office *CRACKLE*"

Huh?

I wonder what THAT could be about?

I can't be in trouble.

My family pretty much owns this school

The teachers wouldn't even dare look at me funny

Let alone give me detention

My curiously piqued

I decide to investigate

There's the principal's office

"Go right in, Miss Northwest"

That was his secretary

Putting nail polish on again

What a slacker

I open up the door

He stands up to shake my hand

I hope he's washed them

"Ah, Miss Northwest.

A pleasure to see you again.

We've recently had two new additions to our school

And they say they know you

So, we thought you'd be the perfect candidate to show them around

Here are..."

At this point, two chairs at the opposite end of the desk

Swung round to face me

I gasped.

I KNEW these faces.

Slightly taller

Different clothes

Less braces

And yet, they were unmistakable

The principal tried to finish his sentence...

But I did it for him.

"Dipper and Mabel Pines!"


	4. Chapter 4

I was speechless. My mouth, quite literally, was flapping like a fish. Seeing these two, the ghosts of my pasts, the reminders of THAT summer, made me weak at the knees. The room started to spin... Dipper was saying something... But the words were all muffled... I forgot where, and even WHO I was for a minute...

Then, suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was the Principal, concern etched all over his face. "Are you alright Pacifica? Do you need to go and see the nurse? I can get someone else to show the Pines twins around if you wa..."

"NO!" Again I interrupted the man in charge of our school. If I was anyone other than Pacifica Northwest, I'd probably have been given a stern reprimand by now for unruly behaviour. But I was who I was, so he couldn't touch me. Nya.

I continued my sentence "It's fine... Just a little dizzy spell... I skipped breakfast this morning (that was a lie, I ALWAYS had to have my pancakes with maple syrup), "But I'll grab something from the cafeteria while we tour the facilities. Come on, you two... We have LOTS of catching up to do..."

I DID have half a mind to yell their heads off there and then... But a Northwest must maintain a certain decorum in public places, so without another word I exited the room, leaving behind a still-very-concerned looking Principal, and the Pines duo, who I saw looking at each other in consternation, before following my lead.

I should have remembered... Mabel LOVES hugs. As soon as we were a few yards away from the office, I felt a pair of arms wrap around my back, before being forcibly spun around to confront the female brunette. She was now at least a head taller than me (Dipper was even bigger than her; I felt like a hobbit in their presence). Not to mention stronger, if her vice-like grip around my torso proved anything.

"OH PAZ" She cried, RIGHT THERE, in the middle of the hall "WE'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH! WE HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH! WE'RE SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!" It all poured out of the emotional girl, complete with a few snotty sobs. All I could do was struggle like a rat caught in a trap, while Dipper looked sheepishly on and the other students...

OH MY GOD! THE OTHER STUDENTS! What must they think of seeing PACIFICA NORTHWEST, the Queen Bee of the school, ruler over all she surveyed, top of the food chain, being manhandled like this by a... a... COMMONER?!

I glanced around nervously at my surroundings (Or, as much as I could, considering the restricted position I found myself in). Good, no sign of Chantal, Tiffany or Chad. Who knows what they'd think if they found out I knew people like...THIS.

Unwilling to take any further chances, I stamped on her foot. Hard. "Alright Mabel, that's enough. I SUPPOSE it's sort-of good to see you too, but... Don't you think you're overdoing it a bit?" Mabel recoiled with a whimper, clutching her crushed toes, and for a minute I felt a pang of regret... Before I remembered AGAIN how they just left me in the lurch to suffer all those years ago, and my heart turned to ice again.

Dipper immediately came to his sister's aid, standing between us with an annoyed expression on his face "PACIFICA! There was no need for violence! She was just happy to see you, that's all! Why did you have to go and do that?!"

To be honest, I wasn't really listening to him. The pupils were pouring out of their classes, and pretty soon EVERYONE would know that Pacifica Northwest hung around with LOSERS, and all my reputation... All my credibility... All my POWER around school could be gone, in one fell swoop. I DID want to talk to them (Just to find out what the HECK was going on) but not here. Then, I hit on a plan...

"NOT NOW, DIPPER!" I shouted at the Pines boy, and, like Mabel, he seemed shocked by my tone too. "I know somewhere we can go and chat... In private. Follow me."

I started to walk off...

But...

They don't move an inch...

WHY WERE THEY STILL STANDING THERE?! Instead of following my command, they're just staring at me, looking like they've just seen Slenderman in the flesh. Mabel is still clutching her foot (come on... I didn't crush it THAT hard) and Dipper... Has a strange look in his eye...

Is that...

PITY?!

HE BETTER NOT BE FEELING SORRY FOR ME! HE DOESN'T DESERVE THAT PRIVILEGE!

More angry than I can say, I realise I have to take control of the situation before the Northwest good name is sullied, once and for all. I swiftly grab hold of both twins, and frogmarch them away from the curious passers-by, around the corner and the place where I had in mind when I mentioned a 'secret rendezous'... An old storage closet, barely used by the school now, full of stacks of papers and an old mop.

I know about it because this is where I collect most of the stuff that's owed to me, whether through blackmail or intimidation.

Tee hee, ain't I a stinker?!

Anyway, I literally throw the siblings into the small room, turn the tiny light on, before stepping in myself and securing the door. "ALRIGHT, SPILL!" I shouted. "You two have got a LOT of explaining to do... And I want to hear it!"

The twins picked themselves up off the dirty floor, looking slightly dishevelled, but more shocked than anything else. Mabel was in no mood to talk, she had seemingly lost her original happy demeanor and retreated to the corner, looking at me... Like she was... SCARED?! Pathetic. Whatever did I see in her (She made you happy...) SHUT UP, INTRUSIVE VOICE!

As for Dipper, he slowly composed himself, taking his cap off to fluff the dust out (Yes, he STILL wore that dumb thing) and scratching the thin veneer of facial hair that had sprouted since our last meeting (I have to admiT... THAT looked kinda cute... STOP! THINK OF CHAD! THINK OF CHAD!). Eventually, he opened his mouth, and to my disappointment, it WASN'T the story of how he and his sister so selfishly abandoned me.

"What has happened to you Pacifica? You've... Changed. And not in a good way." He shook his head. "I should have known this would happen... It's those parents of yours, isn't it? They've turned you into another version of THEM... And it looks like they've done a fine job, too. Don't you remember what I told you, that day of the haunting? I said, you didn't have to be like them, Pacifica. I KNOW you're better than this. I KNOW this mean girl act... It isn't you. If you'd just...

"YOU WEREN'T HERE!" I screamed, which made Dipper take a step back, and Mabel huddle in the corner even more. " ALL I GOT FROM YOU BEFORE I LEFT WAS A MEASLY LETTER, SAYING YOU'D CALL ME, AND YOU'D BE THERE FOR ME... BUT YOU NEVER DID, AND YOU NEVER WERE! "

Tears were rolling down my cheeks, and those walking near the door could probably hear me wailing like a banshee, but I didn't care. I'd been waiting for YEARS to speak my mind to these two, and NOTHING was gonna stop me now.

"I TRIED TO DO THINGS YOUR WAY... I MADE FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE IN THE SHACK... I STARTED BEING NICER TO EVERYONE... I EVEN DISOBEYED MY PARENTS TO DO MY OWN THING! BUT, NOTHING WORKED... YOUR GRUNKLE STAN TOLD ME TO 'GET LOST' ONE DAY FOR NO REASON ... BEING A GOODY-GOODY DIDN'T HELP ME GAIN ANY RESPECT... AND MY PARENTS STILL KEPT ON PUNISHING ME, WHATEVER I DID! "

"AND YOU KNOW THE WORST PART? FOR ALL YOUR 'OH PACIFICA, JUST TURN OVER A NEW LEAF AND BE YOURSELF' NONSENSE, YOU'RE THE WORST KIND OF PERSON... A SANCTIMONIOUS, HYPOCRITICAL LIAR!" (See, I knew those English classes would pay off)" YOU SAID YOU'D CALL ME... YOU NEVER DID! I TRIED TO CALL YOU... YOU HUNG UP ON ME! REMEMBER THIS?!: 'Oh, Pacifica, any time you need anything, just phone us'. SO MUCH FOR THAT!"

"AND YOU HAVE THE TEMERITY TO LECTURE ME ON ETHICS, WHEN YOU'RE THE BIGGEST FIBBER AND PROMISE BREAKER I'VE EVER MET?! YOU HAVE SOME NERVE. NOW, ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME WHAT WAS SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU COULDN'T CONTACT ME OR SEE ME FOR THREE YEARS, OR AM I GOING TO WALK OUT THIS DOOR NOW, AND NEVER SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN? MAKE YOUR MIND UP QUICK... I'M MEETING SOME ACTUAL FRIENDS LATER TO HELP ORGANISE MY BIRTHDAY TONIGHT."

Phew... That was a mouthful... But when it was all over, I felt strangely elated... Like I'd just exorcised some particularly nasty demons. Dipper seemed to digesting all this new information... Weighing it up in his head... His hazel eyes never leaving my azure ones for a minute...Before finally turning to his sister, and using that great unspoken bond twins clearly have, she must have given him the go-ahead to tell all...


	5. Chapter 5

"Well, Pacifica..." Dipper made himself as comfortable as possible in the cramped conditions, while Mabel moved from the corner to sit beside him, on a heap of A4s. " I guess you deserve an explanation for everything. It all started when we got home from Gravity Falls, three summers ago. Our mother had picked us up from the airport, and despite our excitement at being home and telling her all about the adventures we'd been on, she remained strangely muted..."

FLASHBACK

"...AND THEN, DIPPER RESCUED ME FROM THAT GIANT ROBOT CONTROLLED BY GIDEON, AND THEN IT WAS MY TURN TO SAVE HIS LIFE, WITH MY... GRAPPLING HOOK!" Mabel had just finished regaling the story of how they saved the shack from certain destruction at the hands of a psychotic white-haired ten year old, and it was good timing too, as the car was just turning into the street where the Pines family lived.

The braced sweater-wearer paused for effect... Hoping against hope to be greeted with a gasp of amazement, a congratulatory grin, or even a stern admonishment for their foolhardy escapades...

What she got, was nothing.

It had been like this all the entire journey. She and Dipper had spouted excitedly about the incredible things they'd seen and done... The LEAST they expected was a skeptical eye, or even a disinterested "That's nice, dears". THAT would have been enough.

But their mother hadn't said a word. She'd just collected them in the vehicle, left them to put their own bags in the boot, and sat in complete silence in the driver's seat while her children chattered away like monkeys.

She looked awful, too. Pale skin... Gaunt... Very thin... Almost as if, she was a ZOMBIE. Or at least, a fake human controlled by gnomes . It had crossed Dipper's mind to investigate her later on... You never knew, after all. 'Remember what the book said' he told himself... TRUST NO-ONE.

At least, THAT would explain how miserable she seemed , especially after seeing her kids for the first time in months. Short of being a member of the undead, or a construction made from tiny little men, the Mystery Twins were at a complete loss to explain this pallid imitation of their happy, bubbly mother. And no explanation was forthcoming from her, either.

The car eventually came to a halt just outside the front door of Chez Pines, and the siblings gathered their belongings and joined their mother, as she robotically went through the motions of finding the right key, unlocking the door, stepping through the threshold... Every stilted movement looked like an ordeal for her.

The twins could only grimace while watching this horror show... Something was very, VERY wrong here. And, they intended to find out what.

They didn't have long to wait. As soon as they followed their Mom into the front room, an even bigger shock lay in store for them.

Their father was there, sitting down, staring at the wall...

But he was not the man they had kissed and cuddled goodbye to, when they went away for their extended vacation...

For a start, he had no hair. Another thing: He was in a wheelchair. And, if anything, he seemed even weaker and tired than their mother.

Dipper and Mabel's stomachs literally did a bellyflop when they saw him in this state, and they could only stand, transfixed, as he slowly navigated his chair around to face his children, and in a voice that sounded more like a wheeze than his regular clear, dulcet tones, he said those immortal words... That so many other families have heard... But never want to hear...

"Kids, we've got something to tell you."

And all this... The day before their birthday. Some 'present'.

END OF FLASHBACK

I had already figured it out, of course. Their father had cancer... And a pretty virulent type, by the sound of things. Apparently, he'd got diagnosed with it just before the twins were sent away... Which WASN'T a coincidence. Forget about all this crap about being told to go to Gravity Falls 'for fresh air and relaxation'... The REAL reason they were sent away was so their Dad could undergo the worst of his treatment, so that his kids could have a good summer without having to suffer alongside him. How selfless.

As soon as Dipper found out about this, it had caused a massive row. As had already been established with Grunkle Stan withholding the information for years about his lost twin brother Stanford, keep important secrets from him at your peril. Whereas Mabel was all crying and clingy at the devastating news, Dipper was all anger and resentment. WHY hadn't he been told... WHO did they think they were... It WASN'T their decision to make...

It was all academic now, of course. Dipper's attitude just hid his grief, and Mabel refused to leave her father's side, even for a second. The Fall term started, and they were sent back to school. Despite the terrible news, they still needed at education. Everyone was informed of course, and there was plenty of sympathy to go around... Even from those who considered the pair 'a bit weird'.

None of it helped... And, as the chemotherapy took it's toll, and their dad got frailer and frailer, the pair noticed their mother was unable to cope, too. After all... The love of her life was fading before her eyes... How could she just go about her day-to-day routine, when she had to watch him cry out in pain and visibly die a little, every day, like a reverse Dorian Gray?

Dipper eventually shook off his grudge, and did the mature thing: He became the unofficial man of the house. Mabel helped out as well, on the urging of her brother. She cleaned. He organised. She shopped. He paid the bills. It was something they had to adjust to fast, especially at such a young age.

There was very little money coming in. Their mom was off work (It was hard enough for her to get up in the morning, let alone do her job), so the only cash available (Which wasn't being syphoned off to pay for their father's treatment) was through their Mom and Dad's sick leave pay.

Their other family members helped out too... Including the two Stans, who sent whatever they could spare. (Dipper remembered Stanley's contribution was particularly impressive; that man was no cheapskate when it came to his nearest and dearest).

Even Wendy and Soos had sent a portion of their wages to assist the ailing family (Wendy's mother had been a victim of this terrible illness, and so she knew EXACTLY what the twins were going through).

But, it still wasn't enough. As Fall turned to Winter and the bills started to pile up, the twins found themselves having to raid their OWN savings, the cash put aside for their future college fund. It was a shame... But a necessary sacrifice. As for Christmas... Who cares?! Keeping their family, alive and together, was the most important thing.

Alas, the only thing they were achieving was prolonging the inevitable. Mr Pines died soon into the New Year, surrounded by those he loved, in his hospital bed. He'd fought a good fight, and outlasted all the doctors predictions, but there comes a time when the human body just cannot take anymore and shuts down.

With the death of their father (Which the twins had been anticipating for a long time) came a new chapter for them: As responsible as they'd proven to be in the event of their Dad's death and their mother's near meltdown, there was no way things could carry on as they were.

For the next few years, while their Mom was being treated for severe depression at a secure facility, they were juggled around from family member to family member... Never staying in one place for long.

The place where they TRULY wanted to live was obviously, Gravity Falls, but after hearing all the shenanigans that had gone on there, including the various life-and-death situations they'd gotten involved in, it was no great surprise the judge refused leave for Grunkle Stan to become their new caregiver.

So instead, they were passed from State to State like a hot potato... And it was in the midst of this upheaval that I'd tried to call them. Dipper was understandly reticent to explain anything on the phone, being still fresh from the loss of his parent, and incredibly frustrated with the whole 'where are we going to live' situation. I...I guess I can sort of get his reaction now.

As for Stanley kicking me out of the Mystery Shack that day two summers ago, that was during a particularly low period for him. His latest application to take his niece and nephew had been refused, even though his lawyer had INSISTED it was 100% guaranteed to succeed. The guy was as good a con-artist as his client.

Maybe it was something to do with Stanley answering the door in just his foul boxer shorts during the home visit, to see if it was a suitable environment to raise kids in.

Maybe it was Stanford causing a LOUD explosion down in his lab, then emerging, coughing covered with black smoke, which helped make the authority's mind up.

Whatever, Stanley was at his lowest ebb. Each Stan was refusing to communicate with the other one, both blaming one another (In a reminder of their old rivalry) for their failure to adopt the children. In no mood for work, he had sent Wendy and Soos home... And had shut up shop for the day.

The moment I arrived... I couldn't have time it any worse than if I'd tried.

It was all starting to fit together now... Not contacting me. The refusal to take my calls. Stan's mood. They weren't purposely avoiding me, because they 'hated' me or I wasn't 'important' to them...

They were just trying to cope with a MAJOR family trauma.

And, all this time, I thought...

Hold on...

"WHY didn't you come to me for help?!" I asked Dipper, as he neared the end of his tale " I could have paid for your Dad's treatment a hundred times over... And then, I would never have assumed the worst, and we would still be... Friends." (GO AWAY, TEARS!)

Dipper held his sister's hand, and stared me straight in the eye. "Pacifica, can you REALLY see your father wanting to aid the likes of us? ESPECIALLY after what he thinks I did to ruin his party?! And even if you did just use the money from your own pocket to give to us, we were too frightened..."

Mabel jumped in, at this point. "Paz, we've SEEN the way he treated you. You know, yourself... If he caught you helping us in ANY WAY, then your punishment would have been awful. That's why, because we care about you so much, we didn't want to put you in danger by accepting your money. And it's also why..."

"We left strict instructions with our uncles, and everyone else at the Shack, not to tell you." Dipper finished the sentence, looking down at the ground guiltily, the rim of his cap covering his eyes.

I was about to protest. I was going to scream at him: "YOU'RE WRONG! I COULD HAVE DONE IT! I'M MY OWN PERSON! THEY CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO ME!"

This, of course, was a total lie.

And, I knew it.

What had I become, based on my own assumptions...

(THAT DAMN VOICE IN MY HEAD! KILL IT! KILL IT, WITH FIRE!)

Grasping for a distraction, I asked "B..but what now... I mean, you're back in Gravity Falls... You're going to this school... How did that happen?"

For the first time since I saw him again, Dipper smiled. I'd almost forgotten what that looked like... It was nice (AARGH, STOP!).

His eyes sparkled as he told me "We're at an age now where we're nearly young adults, so after the millionth try we were FINALLY able to convince the courts we could move down here, regardless of the risks. We live at the Mystery Shack full time now, and Stanley is our official guardian. Of course, we also have quite a few friends here already, which makes it easier. Including you, or..."

"At least, we thought..." Mabel piped up, her brown eyes crystallised with tears. "Oh Paz, what have you done to yourself?"

I couldn't look in those eyes...


	6. Chapter 6

Well, the Cake God EVENTUALLY got my memo.

Shame, it was about 1095 days too late.

THANKS A LOT, PAL.

(That's three years for the less mathematically gifted)

Now, the Pines twins are back to stay...

In fact, aside from the natural transformations caused by puberty...

And Mabel's dental treatment being completed...

They're pretty much the same.

Me, on the other hand...

I couldn't be any different...

Oh, wait, scratch that...

The way I am now...

Is how I've been for most of my life...

So, no great surprises there...

What I meant is...

The girl they began to know, at the end of that summer...

The one who started to openly defy her parents...

Think about others beside herself...

And emerge from a chrysalis like a beautiful butte...

(UGH, TOO SOPPY, PAZ!)

Has now gone for good.

Without their help...

I'm afraid I couldn't help, but regress...

Back to the pampered 'princess' I was once before...

Except, now I've turned things up to 11...

And have REALLY begun to crush others under my metaphorical boot.

The same way I stamped on Mabel's foot ten minutes ago.

To put an end to her tiresome mollycoddling

(Which I do NOT feel sorry about. Honest)

I already more-or-less run this dump of a school...

(In fact, I thought of it as a test case

For my eventual takeover of Gravity Falls

THE WEAK SHALL SUBMIT!

Or, something like that...

Quoting my dad there...)

I have everyone, including the teachers...

Eating out of the palm of my hand...

My future was all set...

I was feeling good...

And, tonight was supposed to be the cultimation of all that...

But, now

Fate has thrown a spanner in the works

Sand in my shoes

A llama in my soup

(I made that last one up

Clever, no?)

In the shape of these twins

Who, even as I sit here...

Procrastinating, in these l-o-n-g, drawn out sentences

Are staring at me in this tiny little alcove

Wondering what I'm going to say next...

Dipper, I can tell

Thinks I've been very rude and standoffish

Since him and his sister's return

And Mabel...

To be frank

I can't bear to even peek at her

But I can tell...

She seems heartbroken...

Am I really THAT different from before?

What's wrong with me, anyway?

I have a good life... Right?

Perhaps I can make them understand.

Yes, this'll impress them!

Then, if they look happier...

Maybe this cloud of gloom which has started to appear above my head...

Will start to disappear...

And I can start concentrating on more important things...

Such as, planning for tonight.

I might even invite them,

Let bygones be bygones

Prove there are no hard feelings

Yeah, that'll be sweet!

It can't fail.

I know it won't...

Because I thought of it.

So, that's what I do.

I tell them I control things around here...

Even the grown-ups are in awe of my superiority...

And, together with my two besties...

We make sure NO-ONE steps out of line...

Because, if they do...

We make their life a living hell.

Then, I let slip about Chad...

Tell them about the great evening we have planned...

In the back of his Lamborghini...

How I'll FINALLY be christened a woman

And be on a par with all the other girls I know...

Who tell me they lost their virginity years ago.

(And that's just about the ONLY thing

Those chancers have got over me...

I CAN'T WAIT to correct that.)

You'd think they'd be impressed...

With my leadership skills...

My assertiveness...

And having the hottest boy in school as my 'first'...

But, watching their expressions...

Turn from concern, to horrified, to...

(A mixture of the two?!)

You wouldn't believe it

Then, when I'd finished the story of my rise to the top

Instead of congratulating me on my achievements

And lauding me for my accomplishments

They start whispering amongst themselves

What are they saying?

I strain my ear to listen...

"It's worse than we thought... Maybe we should..."

"Never have left her alone... Those parents of hers..."

"Poisoned her mind... I feel so sorry for..."

Feel sorry?

FOR ME?!

My anger immediately rises to the fore again

Who do these ragamuffins think they are?

Yes, it was sad that their father bit the big one...

Yes, it's a tragedy that their mom is a diagnosed basket case

And YES, it wasn't nice for them to tossed around the country

Like an unloved sock puppet

Rather than stay in the one place they truly belonged

But, by the same token...

THEY'RE the ones who refused to call ME

THEY'RE the ones who disconnected their line, so I couldn't call THEM

and THEY'RE the ones who turned all my new friends at the shack against me

So, if you think about it...

They're almost as responsible as my parents...

For who I am today.

And, that's exactly what I shout at them, there and then

(Sprinkled in with a few swear words, of course)

To interrupt their private little 'twin' talk

All I want, is a reaction

A sign, that my words are getting through to them

SAY SOMETHING TO ME, DAMN IT!

But, for the longest time...

(Well, five minutes at least)

They give me that same, eerie stare...

That I've seen from them, since they were subjected to the 'new' me

I'm fed up with that look

It makes me feel...

Well, 'uneasy' would be putting it mildly...

Like I've done something terrible...

And I'm not aware of it.

That can't be the case.

Then AT LAST...

Dipper speaks...

And this is what he said...

(I have to write this down

Since I couldn't believe it myself)

"Pacifica, I don't want you to go to that party tonight."

WHAT?! You can't be serious.

I was staggered he could even DREAM up such a notion

What cheek!

What rubbish!

What balderdash!

(Try using that last word some time... You might fool others into thinking you're smart)

And, I was about to tell him so.

But,there was more

"You're right, you're absolutely right.

We shouldn't have shut you out for all these years

I know we were acting in what we thought were your best interests

But I now know that ignoring you completely was the wrong thing to do.

I mean, look at what the lack of positive role models in your life has done to you!

You think bullying others is the way to get ahead.

You think giving yourself to another man will somehow enhance your credibility

And you think this party tonight is the be and end all?

You're wrong... All that'll happen is it'll bring you one step closer to BEING your parents.

And the Pacifica I know from three years ago would never have agreed to that."

(At this point, Mabel started nodding her head firmly

Her tears had gone, and there was a steely, determined look on her face.)

How... HOW dare he

He wasn't going to get away with that!

For all he knew, the REAL Pacifica

Could be the one standing in front of him right now...

Thoroughly p*ssed off

And about to slam him into the wall.

This NICE Pacifica, which he seemed so smitten with...

Could be just as much a construct...

As the NASTY Pacifica my parents had manufactured...

Who's to say which one was real...

And which one was fake...?

AARGH! I'm so confused...

BREATHE, Pacifica, BREATHE...

It's at time like this I almost yearn for the predictability of the bell...

(AARGH! I can't believe I just thought that

Shut up, brain)

So anyway, before I completely lose my mind...

I tell him...

I tell him how deluded he is...

I tell him that he couldn't possibly know me...

I tell him I'm happy as I am...

But, I can read his face.

He doesn't believe a word of it...

"No, Pacifica.

It might have been a long time ago now...

But I'll never forget remember that smile you gave me, in the secret room...

When I told you you didn't have to be like your parents...

And that it wasn't too late to change your destiny...

You can't fake a smile like that...

That was the first time...

You truly had hope, wasn't it?

That, you could break the chain...

And turn the Northwest name around...

I had faith in you...

And, I..."

(Mabel nudges him)

"Ow... WE still do.

So, will you do it Pacifica?

Will you ditch that stupid party tonight?

And come with me and Mabel, just to hang out?

I know, if you see how much fun you can have

WITHOUT glitz...

WITHOUT glamour

WITHOUT pushing innocents around

And, most of all

WITHOUT having a tacky one night stand

You'll begin to see, again...

Just how much better life can be...

If you open up...

Be yourself...

And most of all...

STOP listening to those horrible parents of yours.

So, what d'ya say Pacifica?

Do you wanna go an adventure with us...

For old times sake?"

He grinned at me, for the second time that day

He clearly expected a positive answer

He must have thought it was easy for me

To cast off the shackles of my heritage

To live life for others, as well as myself

And forego everything I'd been taught

In exchange for this highly dubious thing

Called 'friendship'.

Well, he was gonna be disappointed, then

The road I'm on now

Is a one way street

Maybe I COULD have changed direction, at some stage

A few years ago

But, it's too late now.

I'm too far gone.

I can't just switch my entire philosphy around

Just because of the reemergence of the Pines twins again...

Right?

Well, anyway...

That's what I thought...

And it wasn't worth dwelling on, now.

So, I had no choice

But to rain on his little parade

And tell him I had no intention of altering my life's course

And if he couldn't accept that...

Why, I'd ignore him...

The way he ignored me for all those years...

And he and his sister...

Would NOT be invited to my prestigious celebrations that night

(And, by the way, Sev'ral Timez would be attending

I added that as a passing shot at Mabel)

I had nothing more to say.

I decided to get up, and walk out of the door.

(And besides, the muck in the room was ruining my Ugs)

They could find some other sucker to be their tour guide

Perhaps I could strongarm one of my gallery of victims to do it for me.

(There are plenty who owe me BIG time in this place, believe me)

But, as I pondered on this...

I noticed something quite unusual.

Dipper, who I assumed would take my refusal the easiest

Was staring at the ground, looking utterly crestfallen

Mabel, on the other hand...

Who I would have put good money on being all morose and stuff

(And believe me, I have LOTS of it... Oh, you knew that already)

Had the same spark of defiance...

And dare I say, optimism?

That she's kept from a few minutes ago.

She hadn't even blinked when I mentioned

She'd be missing out on seeing her favourite boyband...

LIVE.

Weird.

Actually, that word sums them both up perfectly...

Weird.

Oh well, no point in getting my panties in a bundle over it now

I had a party to get to...

I'd made my choice...

And I'd live with it...

C'est la vie, and all that jazz...

Sigh...

LATER...

The rest of the schoolday was somewhat uneventful.

I ran into Chad again.

His team had won the big game

Woo hoo

He tried to cop another feel

I copped his nads with my right foot

Geez, can't he even wait until tonight?!

Chantal and Tiffany saw me at lunch

There was more squealing about what they were going to wear...

More excitement about the 'entertainment'

Aanndd of course...

Chantal needed help with her homework

I'm starting to think...

If she wasn't so rich...

She might have been held back a grade or two.

Like me though her parents are major donors to the school...

So, (Financially at least)

It wouldn't be a very wise decision.

Oh, I almost forgot...

My English teacher is REALLY getting on my nerves.

I think his name is Mr Pat, or something.

He keeps telling me to stop using capital letter sentences in my stories.

He says he's asked about 975 times already (surely an overexaggaration?)

My only response to him was

"HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO ACCURATELY INVOKE SOMEONE SHOUTING?

I CAN'T SEE HOW IT CAN BE DIFFICULT TO READ.

JUST ENJOY THE CONTENT, AND STOP FRETTING THE SMALL STUFF!"

That shut him up.

Tee hee... Pacifica... Handling stuff like a BOSS since 1999.

Accept no substitutes.

LATER STILL.

It was just before the party, when it happened.

My parents had entrusted me with the responsibility...

Of making sure the set-up went smoothly...

So, I was in my best Lake Foam green dress...

(No, not the same one from three years ago

That would just be stupid, right?)

Waiting for the guests to arrive...

Making sure the horderves were in the right trays...

The ice sculptures were positioned correctly...

The stage was set up for Sev'ral Time to perform...

And, of course...

Protection for Chad on my dresser table.

(He SAID he'd bring some himself...

But I wouldn't take his word for it)

I was just upstairs...

Putting the last of my three layers of make-up on...

That I heard a noise.

Sort of... Like a BANG.

I dropped my eye liner immediately...

And went to investigate

Hang on...

Why does it suddenly feel cold in here...

AARGH!

A BROKEN WINDOW!

HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!

Is someone in the mansion?

Not willing to take any chances...

I go to grab for my cellphone...

Only, to find...

IT'S NOT THERE!

"Looking for this?"

I glance to my left...

And there is a face of someone I haven't seen in YEARS.

Now, what was her name again...

Fork la...

No, that's not right...

I search my memory banks...

Chocolate...

Sweets...

CANDY, that's it!

Shame, I haven't got enough time for self congratulations.

Because she's holding my phone...

And bashing the buttons like it belongs to her...

She even has the NERVE to say

"Yes, a nice, expensive model

But the camera isn't as good as mine..."

WHAT THE?!

I'm about to tell her to"GIVE ME MY CELL BACK"

Before throwing her out of the smashed window...

But, before I can do that...

ANOTHER familiar face makes themselves known.

Only this one... Is far more recent.

I look at her, and snarl.

"MABEL!"

So SHE was the mastermind behind this break in.

What was she after...

Jewels?

Money?

Or, was she going to kidnap all the members of Sev'ral Time

And keep them as her personal slaves?

(Yeah, like THAT'LL happen.

Calm down, Pacifica.)

I run over to her.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" I hissed, adding...

"AND HOW DID YOU GET IN?!" as an afterthought...

Giving me a braces-free grin, Mabel replied.

"HI, PAZ! I'll field the second question first...

Isn't it AMAZING how this gadget still works... And holds my weight...

After all these years... My precious, little"

I groaned. I knew what she was about to show me.

She'd got plenty of milage out of it...

During that summer we spent together...

Might have even saved our lives on a few occasions...

I just hope she didn't yell out those immortal wor...

"GRAPPLING HOOK!"

Ooh, my ears. No such luck.

Still, at least SOMEONE must have heard that racket from downstairs

And come up to check it out...

For a split-second there, I almost had belief...

Then I remembered something...

The average age of the servants here is hovering around the 60 mark.

There is NO WAY such ancient relics could detect that with their fading senses

Damn my parents policy of hiring lots of 'seniors' to save money

Damn them to...

Mabel stopped my train of thought with her incessant babble.

"And to your first question, I can only say...

We're here to... KIDNAP YOU! GRENDA, NOW!"

Suddenly, a bulky teenage girl came at me, from nowhere...

She had with her a giant pink sack...

And on it, stitched in big letters (Well, with the 'F' half hanging off)

Was the word:

'FRIENDSHIP BAG'

What on Eart...

And, before I knew what was happening...

The sack was over my head...

I was pushed inside...

And the opening was securely tied together.

Before I knew it, I was being carried.

Swung on the back of that gorilla with lipstick

OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!

I found myself being bashed repeatedly by her firm bone structure

I bet I haven't recieved this many bruises, since my Dad used to...

HANG ON! HE'S NOT THE ONE AT FAULT HERE!

That would be our lax security, non-attentive staff and abscence of surveillance cameras.

In fact... maybe it IS his fault... If it wasn't for his penny-pinching...

AARGH! STOP THINKING, PACIFICA!

The only things you should be concentrating are:

Get out of this sack

Look fabulous

Eat a hearty meal (about 200 calories should cover it)

Rock out to music

Get laid...

To be honest... Even the FIRST one would be good round about now...

Mabel had forgotten to poke any breathing holes in the sack...

'COUGH COUGH'

"HELP!"


	7. Chapter 7

I struggled desperately to breathe, as I felt myself being taken further and further away from EVERYTHING. My dream party, my dream concert, my dream MAN...

NO. I would NOT allow this to happen. I'd been planning this for too long... Anticipating it for a lifetime... And stepped on too many people, to give it all up now.

I DESERVED THIS PARTY.

But frankly, lashing about in the laughably titled 'friendship' sack which encased me (though, I did like the colour) did precisely nothing. The strong arms of Grenda easily withstood my protestations, and all my screaming and kicking it didn't halt her progress one bit.

Far away, from what was meant to be...

The first defining event of my adult life.

Whatever would my parents think?!

Wait... this occasion was for ME.

I was so looking forward to the festivities... The expensive foods... The hunky boyband... Seeing my two best friends... And sleeping with the man I loved for the first time...

...Right?

I shook the doubts out of my head. Of COURSE I was. And right now, I was being dragged away by The Enemy. Hopefully, security was on their way to intercept the gatecrashers...

But, with every passing moment, that was more in hope than expectation. I lay there in pitch blackness, with the irritating sound of the giggling of Mabel and her friends forming the soundtrack to my imprisonment.

Of course, right now I had other problems too.

Namely, the fact I was suffocating to death.

"COUGH, COUGH!" My slight choking had turned into deep gasps, and light-headedness combined with dizziness.

I know they wanted to abduct me for a purpose... Their pathetic little group obviously weren't there to steal my valuables. I was the only priceless asset which had been wrenched from the mansion.

But did they really want to KILL me?!

Fortunately, as I almost lapsed into what I'm sure would have been a irreversible coma, my suffering was FINALLY noticed by the perpetrators of my capture.

I know this, because I hear panicking muffled voices, along with a slight tearing of the material, as a knife was poked through. This happened in a couple of other spots as well. I took deep breathes, and almost immediately felt the feelings of nausea and breathlessness went away.

So, THAT'S what a fish out of water felt like.

"Darn it, Grenda? Didn't I tell you to put some airholes in the bag after we stitched it together?" That was Mabel, in one of her rare cross moments. I could now hear her, and her weird friends, clearly through the gaps in the fabric.

"Sorry, I just thought it was a shame to ruin all our hard work by ripping it." Grenda seemed apologetic. "I just thought... You know... Rich people might be so wealthy that they didn't need to breathe, or something."

I sighed upon hearing this 'brilliant' conclusion. That girl was clearly the brains of the operation.

Suddenly, something occurred to me. If there were airholes in the sack, then maybe...

THERE WAS A WAY OUT OF THIS!

I immediately set to work, attempting to make the small puncture marks bigger, so I could perhaps weaken the material and bust my way out of this constrictive sweatbox.

But, as I stuck my delicate, manicured nails in each one...

My optimism was short lived.

I couldn't even expand them by an inch.

DAMMIT!

"Sorry, Paz. But we made this out of a specially formulated burlap that Grunkle Ford invented for us. Not only is it super fashionable, but it's also super strong, and virtually impossible to tear... Unless, you have the right tool!" That was Mabel talking to me. Ooh, when I get my hands on her... I'm going to shove my gold club right up her...

"Like my super penknife! It has over one thousand functions... Like telling the time in Outer Mongolia... Making tea... Cutting through stuff." Candy piped up, never missing an opportunity to boast about her wide array of gadgets.

"Er, Candy... We're kinda in a hurry here... Do you think you could show her all that... When we get back to the shack?" Mabel reprimanded her friend.

"IS THAT WHERE YOU'RE TAKING ME... TO THAT DUMB HOVEL?" I could no longer control my anger. "I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT'S THE FIRST PLACE MY PARENTS WILL LOOK ! THEY KNOW I HATE YOU... SO EXPECT TO SEE HUNDREDS OF OFFICERS INVADING YOUR CRAPPY LITTLE SHACK BEFORE YOU CAN BLINK AN EYE! I KNOW YOU WERE UPSET BY WHAT I SAID TO YOU AT SCHOOL TODAY, BUT I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D STOOP SO LOW TO RUINING MY PARTY...

"Oh, Pacifica. We know you don't hate us." Mabel didn't seem offended at all. "And, you've got us all wrong. You forget, we've seen the REAL you. The mean girl who blew up at us this morning... The horrible girl who's bullied so many of her fellow students over the years... The girl so desperate for love and acceptance that she'd lose her virginity to a man she barely cared for... That isn't you. And, we intend to prove it. Call this an 'intervention', if you like." Mabel sounded warm and sympathetic, genuinely caring... And my heart lifted slightly...

NO! I wouldn't fall into that trap again. She'd just abandon me, just like before... Along with that stupid brother of hers. And then, I'd be all alone again... Depressed, vulnerable... Without the mental strength to handle all of my demons...

I decided to try a more diplomatic approach, despite being ready to murder the lot of them. After all, it worked for my father... " Listen, Mabel..." I adopted the softest tone I could muster. "I know this was a spur of the moment decision. I'm not cross with you." (That was a lie, I was freakin' livid) " I just think you haven't really thought this through. If you just return me now, I promise... You're not going to be in ANY trouble. I'll just tell everyone it was a game... So, if you'd just turn around..."

"Sorry, Paz. me and the girls did this knowing EXACTLY what we were letting ourselves in for" Mabel reassured me. "We owe it to you." (Wait, they thought they were actually doing me a FAVOUR?!) " Me and Dipstick should have contacted you in some way, to tell you that we hadn't forgotten you... But, we let our personal issues cloud our judgement. And, look what our neglect has done. It's let your parents win..." She sounded heartbroken. I almost shed a tear myself... (ARRGH! SHUT OFF BRAIN! SHUT OFF BRAIN!")

"And perhaps me and Candy should have given you more of a chance, especially when Mabel explained to us WHY you acted the way you did. But we couldn't forget all the names you called us, and the way you and your two Valley Girl Stereotype clones pushed us around town. So, I guess we're partly at fault too... For not really doing more to try to be friends with you when the twins went away." Grenda sounded surprisingly profound, for someone I always regarded as a bit of a dim bulb.

That hoarse voice of hers still got on my nerves, though.

"Yes, yes." That was Candy. She had little else to add... Other than her patented catchphrase.

"So, Paz, you see why we can't let you go." Mabel spoke again. " You'll see... It's all for the best, when we get back to the Mystery Shack. Get ready for an evening of surprises! It'll be just like a sleepover... But with extra sprinkles of friendship! ... And, by the way..."

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY" The intrepid trio screamed in unison.

Somehow, I didn't feel any better... When I knew what I was missing out on THIS VERY MINUTE.

Suddenly, I felt the heavy set girl carrying me come to a stop. What a relief... I was beginning to get a bit sick of feeling like a ball that had been bounced all day.

She dumped me uncermoniously on the ground. OUCH. Thanks, Grenda.

"Anyway, ladies. We're here. This is the meeting place. Any second now... The Clanker should be coming right round that corner..." Mabel sounded like she was expecting someone.

But... The Clanker?!

A few seconds later, my curiosity was answered.

Clank clank clanK claNK CLANK! It started off small, but became increasingly louder as it approached.

I can see now how whatever it is got it's nickname... But, what in hell's bells (DON'T MENTION BELLS!) was it?! I desperately peered through the sack to try and find out..

I couldn't see much at all, but I did hear the sound of an engine, along with the metallic banging... Which would indicate it was some kind of vehicle.

The two headlights shining from the front were a bit of a clue, as well.

It stopped right in front of us, forcing me to shield my eyes, as my entire tiny prison was lit up.

Seriously, I was starting to get MAJOR cramp in here. This was way worse than my yoga lessons.

Then, as the lights were dimmed, and I heard the sound of a door opening...

And, everything became clear...

I could see just enough of the car to know who it belonged to, and what was causing that obnoxious racket.

It was Stanley's old rushbucket (Don't ask me what make it is. Car models are not my speciality... And besides, it was WAY before my time). He was STILL riding that thing?!

It didn't look any difference to the last time I saw it, down at the shack all those years ago. Except, for...

The grille was half hanging off. Ugh.

How could he be seen DEAD in that jalopy? I suppose, when you travel in style like I always do, you tend to get a little bit spoiled...

Regardless, I heard the sound of footsteps coming our way... And, there, through the limited visibility available to me... I caught a glimpse of the old scam artist himself.

He hugged Mabel with great enthusiasm (Why do I feel sort of sad seeing that?) and nodded at her two partners in crime. Then, I saw him stoop down and poke his eye through one of the airholes, which caused me to shriek, and retreat further into the depths of the sack.

He looked me over for a minute, as if he wanted to say something... But, couldn't quite find the words.

Well, I had plenty I wanted to tell HIM. If he put his niece up to this... If I found out he was responsible for my kidnapping on the MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF MY LIFE... I'd have his guts for garters...

Or, less messy, I'd simply have him arrested.

And, with all his past record of offenses... He'd be doing a serious stretch in the slammer. I hope he likes breaking rocks, that's all I'll say.

But, before I could turn the air blue with a string of distinctly unladylike profanities, he stood back up, and out of my eyeshot, said something to Mabel...

Something which left no doubt about who was to blame for this situation.

"So kid, do you REALLY wanna go through with this? I mean, you're awfully young to go to these kind of extremes... Kidnapping the wealthiest girl in all of Gravity Falls. I can't say I'm not proud... But you're NOT even going to deliver a ransom note to her parents?" He sounded flabbergasted.

"Grunkle Stan... It's not ALWAYS about money you know." Mabel replied. "This... Is something more important. It's about me, Dipper, and everyone else, including YOU... Making up for our past mistakes in leaving Pacifica alone, when she needed us most. But most of all, it's about the future of a young girl who is lost and confused, and lashes out at others because she's scared, and thinks there's no-one she can trust. It's OUR job to remind her tonight, that that simply isn't true."

"WHAT?!" I shouted indignantly. "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU..."

"Alright, that's enough of THAT." I was cut off by Stanley picking up my bag, and depositing it in what must be the boot. "If there's one thing I can't stand, it's the sound of snobs whining. Oh, boo hoo. I've lost my ivory back scratcher. My indoor swimming pool is one centigrade too cold. Why are you serving smoked salmon, instead of fresh salmon. Zip it, Blondie. I hope you begin to appreciate what my niece is doing for you tonight... Because, after the way I hear you treated her today... I certainly wouldn't do the same."

That shut me up. 'What she was doing for me'? What on Earth was he talking about? All I saw was a major crime being committed. They'd wrecked something I'd been organising and looking forward to for MONTHS... Surely, I was the injured party here?

That other thing he mentioned, though... 'The way I treated her'... THAT bothered me. I started getting flashbacks to stamping on her foot, hard. Mocking her for not being able to see Sev'ral Time that evening. Making light of her parents death, the two people she, along with her brother, loved the most in the entire world. They had sounded like a great Mom and Dad, unlike...

"STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! YOU'RE A NORTHWEST! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE THESE KIND OF FEELINGS! ESPECIALLY TOWARDS THE LOWER CLASSES! SHOW SOME PRIDE, GIRL! NEVER SHOW WEAKNESS! ALWAYS CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS! DON'T BE A WIMP! OR I'LL GIVE YOU SUCH A..."

I tried repeating my father's words, like a mantra, to stave off this awful tempest inside my head.

But, unlike the countless other occasions where focusing on his yelling had successfully sealed my heart, and allowed me to carry on picking on people without hesitation...

This time... They weren't quite having the desired effect.

And, for the first time in living memory...

I felt something horrible taking over my consciousness.

Guilt.

And, while I pondered this strange emotion which had been cut off to me for so long...

The other occupants of the car got in, as it sped off...

With me inside...

Facing God-Knows-What ahead now.


	8. Chapter 8

( I would just like to offer a most HUMBLE THANK YOU to every person who's commented on this story, followed it, favourited it, read it on youtube... ;). You've made it my most popular story on this site by far. Your appreciation gives me the inspiration to write more... So, keep on enjoying what is to come (And believe me, there's plenty more)... And don't be afraid to drop me a line to tell me what you think. Ciao!)..

The car, which obviously had NO real suspension, bumped along the road, making me feel as if I was about to toss my cookies any minute.

Perhaps I would have done, If I'd actually had something to eat since lunch. Even that unpalatable expensive food, bought for my party, was looking appetising round about now.

Heck, I'd even make do with one of Mabel's disgusting backseat tacos.

Speaking of the girl herself, she apologised to me just before we set off, that there was no room in the rest of the vehicle... So I'd have to travel in style.

In the boot.

I feel like a true V.I.P.

Stanley had no such scruples about just dumping me in there, though.

Can't say I blame him...

To be honest... Something has been prickling at my mind.

Ever since I reflected on my conduct this morning with the twins...

I actually felt...

*Whispers*

A bit ashamed

Of course, I'd NEVER tell them that...

But, I suppose...

A little apology wouldn't go amiss.

Don't get me wrong...

I'm still mad at them for leaving me in the lurch for years...

And spiriting me away from my party

And my... Friends...

And... Chad...

But I may have gone just a LITTLE overboard with my unempathetic reaction to their father's death...

Of course, not having particularly great examples myself...

(And yes, I am starting to realise it now)

Didn't exactly put me in a great position to offer much comfort.

If something happens to my Mom and Dad...

All the money I'm due to inherit would be placed in a trust fund for another two years...

And I'd have to stay with old Aunt Agatha in New Orleans till I was 'of age'.

I hear she's even worst than my Dad when it comes to dishing out the punishments.

Don't believe me?

Apparently, my cousin got waterboarded for forgetting to say grace before Dinner.

Now, THAT'S harsh.

Anyway, I think we're there now...

The antique car has come to a stop...

Along with the incessant banging of the hanging-by-a-thread grille...

(That sound will be in my nightmares for a while)

I hear the boot being opened...

And Grenda once again has the 'honour' of carrying me to the front door.

(Do they STILL think I'm going to run away, at this stage?)

I feel movement around my legs...

A persistant oinking...

WADDLES?!

Is that old porker still alive?

I thought they'd have turned him into bacon by now...

FLASHBACK

I confess, I saw him that day at the fair...

And, I wanted him for myself...

But, Mabel got there a few seconds before I did...

And won him by answering the oh-so-difficult question correctly

'Ol' Fifteen Poundy, indeed.

And all I ended up with...

Was a stupid chicken.

That kept pecking at my precious nose

(What is it with Northwests and unfriendly birds?!)

As much as I mocked her at the time for winning such a 'useless' pet...

I really was secretly jealous...

You see, even though my parents would NEVER have allowed such a 'filthy beast' into our home

I could have hidden him in the stables...

And fed him on all the scraps left over from our family meals.

(And, believe me, there's a LOT of them

Enough to feed all the homeless of Gravity Falls twice over.

Of course such an altuistic gesture never entered their heads,

And all the remnants of all the exotic dishes

Just became landfill.)

It would have been nice to have a friendly face around the staid surroundings...

Even a pink, mucky one.

But alas... It was never meant to be...

Perhaps in an alternate reality, or something, it could have been possible...

END OF FLASHBACK

Oh well, no point in dredging up the past...

I've got enough to worry about in the present...

Like, for instance...

The wide open threshold in front of me...

And what horrors lay in wait beyond it...

I was marched in...

With the rest of the 'gang'...

The door was closed...

And I FINALLY,

FINALLY

Felt the top of the bag being untied...

Before I tumbled out like a toy in a cracker.

I dusted myself off...

(My poor dress... It's going to take at LEAST six washes to get it clean)

And looked around.

I needn't have bothered...

The old dump hadn't changed one bit...

There was still all the tourist trappy rubbish on the shelves...

From authentic manotaur hair rugs to minature Stanley heads on springs

(seriously, who'd want that gruesome visage as a plaything?

Might be good for a Halloween party... But, not much else...)

And Stanfords scientificy materials had spread from his tiny nook in the cellar

To almost take over a corner of the living space on the next floor.

I never could understand any of that junk.

I do remember, the day I asked him about it, though...

It was the one time we truly connected...

FLASHBACK 2... DA SEQUEL

"What is it all worth?..." I asked him, a week after the twins left for home that fateful summer.

He frowned at me "What do you mean... 'Worth'?"

"Well, to go to all this trouble... And to spend so much time by yourself... You must be looking at a pretty good payday when all this is complete." I speculated.

"PAYDAY?!" All of a sudden, he did something that I'd never seen him do previously...

He burst into laughter. He really DID look like his brother, when he smiled.

I was still offended, though. "And what was so funny about my question?" I stamped my foot and gave him a death glare.

"WHOA, WHOA! SORRY, Blondie... I thought you were joking there for a minute" (Great, now BOTH the older Pines siblings had taken up the opinion of giving me that nickname). "The problems of a little rich girl, eh?"

" The fact is"... he mused " I do this to help the advancement of mankind... To aid us in our quest to bring World Peace... To eradicate all known diseases... And of course, get to Barbados in three seconds flat, using the instant teleportation device I'm working on now"...

Suddenly, there was a minor explosion, followed by a plume of smoke in the middle of his experiment set-up.

"Oops, still got a bit of tinkering to do with THAT one, before I'm finished..." He shrugged his shoulders.

I'd never heard anyone talk so... Selflessly before. "Y-yeah, but... If you did all that, won't you be famous...?" A sudden idea occured to me. " NOW, I get it! You're doing it for power. That would explain..."

"HA HA HA HA!" He burst into spontanious chuckling again. "Kid, can you REALLY see me as the next President? I don't think so. Seriously, you gotta stop thinking everyone has an ulterior motive. It really is this simple: I want to break the boundaries of scientific knowledge to assist everyone. Sure, some cash in my pocket would be nice... And it would be GREAT to appear on the front cover of 'Nerds Today...', but those were far from the reasons I started doing this in the first place."

I frowned again. Another oddity. "You actually CHOSE to do this of your own volition? You weren't ordered by your father, or anyone, to start this geeky stuff yourself?" It seemed inconceivable to me, that any right-minded individual would opt for such a dull hobby, unless there was a major reward for it in the end.

Ford, picked up a testtube, and stared at his lopsided reflection in it. "Pacifica, is it? You remind me so much of my father..." (Looking at his expression, I could tell that WASN'T a compliment) He was obsessed with wealth and fame as well... He never encouraged my work... The only time he ever showed an interest in it was when I stood to make millions out of my research... He ruled my mother with an iron fist... And, shamefully, I went along with his..."

He paused for a minute, as if debating a very important matter in his head. Then, without warning, he turned around and put his hands on my shoulders. They were all slimy. You could tell he hadn't been anywhere near a sink for a while. Yuck.

"Listen, what I'm about to tell you is VERY personal, and I don't want word getting back to Stanley about it. To be honest, he's been a bit mistrustful of you ever since you started bullying his niece, and that incident on Pioneer day where you almost got him drowned in rotten tomatoes" (I can remember blushing at that point) " But I can tell you're trying to change... So I think I can trust you with what I'm about to tell you. Can I?

I slowly nodded my head. I must admit, I was starting to freak out a little... I'd never been this up close and personal with someone who spent half his life in a laboratory, and, in hearing these Pines family secrets, I felt I was intruding on something special which maybe should be kept within their closely knit circle.

Mind you... My parents had done that for FAR too long, with reference to a certain lie about a town founder, and a room full of secret paintings which they didn't even deign to tell their own daughter about.

So, maybe openness WAS the best policy.

"Okay, I promise... I'll take it to the grave", I said... Raising my right hand like a Vulcan greeting someone.

Stanford cracked up again "Oh kid, you'll be the death of me. There's no need to be so solemn. Your word is good enough for me." He beamed in my direction, and I felt good. It was NICE to have someone who trusted me enough to confide in. Even if it was just a smelly old dude with bad hair and a dirty white coat on.

"Okay, so here it goes. I was responsible..." Ford glanced at the floor. "For my family disowning my brother. I mean, sure... He ruined my shot at getting into a good college because of his tomfoolery... But when my parents confronted him... I never stood up for the guy. I just shut him off and let him go on his way. My bitterness consumed me, and we didn't speak for years afterwards. He didn't mean it... It was an accident... But I was so angry at the time... I would rather listen to my greedy father than the twin who'd stuck up for me from day one from the bullies who might have otherwise made my life a misery..."

(I can remember gulping at this point, with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Bullies... Like me?)

"So, anyway" He continued "We never did take the boat trip we swore we would together, and while he drove all around the country, alternatively scamming people, running from them, and getting locked up, trying to make up for his 'misdeed', I was in the middle of studying hard for my dictorate. And you know what... It was immensely satisfying. So gratifying in fact, that I began to be glad I didn't just get my degree handed to me on a silver platter. I actually EARNED it. So, in the end, the knucklehead had done me a favour, however unintentionally."

"A thousand times I almost swallowed my pride and called him... A thousand times I just put the receiver down and cursed my lack of courage. 'He's your BROTHER.' I kept telling myself. 'What's stopping you?' To this day, I don't know why I never contacted him. Maybe it was shame, because of what I... Or rather, what I didn't do for him. Perhaps it was fear, that he would just shout at me and hang up. Or the simple explanation might be, I hadn't a clue what to say to him. Whatever my excuses, I eventually pushed the notion to the back of my head, and concentrated solely on my work." He paused for effect. "Ten years went by".

"Wow, that's a LONG time to hold a grudge." I said, riveted.

"Yes it is, Pacifica." He agreed. "And you know what the funniest part is? HE felt just as culpable as I did. When I was remonstrating with myself whether to phone him or not, he was going through the same experience. When I was beating myself up for not being there in his time of need, he was punishing himself for thinking he'd destroyed my chances at higher education because of his innate clumsiness. He would have LOVED to hear from me, as I would him. If we weren't such a pair of stubborn bastards, than what was to follow would never have transpired..."

"So, what happened next?" I enquired. I felt like a kid at storytime... Not that my parents ever bothered with such a useless activity.

"What, Oh... I got trapped in another dimension... And didn't see him again for another thirty years." He then turned back to his experiments, as if he'd reached the end of his story.

"WHAT?! You can't just drop that on me, and finish it there!" I exclaimed. "How did THAT happen... HOW did you get back... And WHAT was this 'other dimension' like..."

"Trust me, kid... You're better off not knowing. On the dark, weird road I travel... I must go alone." (Hmm, sounded to me like Ford almost used those exact words before.) "Sufficed to say, the one thing I got out of this whole sorry experience was: Treasure those closest to you. Animosity and resentment will get you nowhere. Arguing can be good, if you're just airing out some issues that need to be resolved... But NEVER let it escalate into such a bitter feud... You end up... Not seeing the person you SHOULD have been inseparable with... For decades..."

Is it just me, or were his eyes getting kinda misty? Perhaps it was the steam coming out of the bunsen burner...

"Even now..." He carried on, while wiping his glasses." When I'm back, after so long away... We butt heads. I was even ready to KICK him out at one stage... Before common sense prevailed, and I allowed him to stay after he helped me save the planet..." ( I get the feeling I wasn't being told a lot here, despite Ford's promised early candidness.)

"So, yeah... That's it. Like I said, don't breathe a word of this to Stan... Things are hard enough around here at the moment for us... What with the recent diagnosis of... OOPS!" Ford put his hand on his mouth." I'm not allowed to talk about that... With... Anyone. Yeah... Don't think I'm singling you out here... This is a matter I can't discuss at all." He nervously moved his eyes from left to right, and I knew he was holding something back. I can spot a liar when I see one.

Have you MET my father?

END OF FLASHBACK 2

Of course, what I DIDN'T tell him at the time...

Was my problems with my own dad...

Sounded more or less the same as his.

Both men seemed obsessed with their children fulfilling certain roles...

And if they didn't match up to expectations...

Screw 'em.

Did Gravity Falls have a surplus of Bad Dads, or something?

And if there truly is karma in the world...

Why is it all the good fathers...

Like the one who looked after the Pines Twins...

Seem to pass away young...

While the selfish, self-centred ones flourish?

No wonder I'm an atheist...

Not that my family has ever been in the least bit religious...

Or, do you think they would have commited half the despicable acts they did?

What was it my Dad used to say?

"God never paid my bills...

So why should I do anything for Him?"

Actually, replace 'God' with ANY other word...

And, Bingo.

That's his philosophy in a nutshell.

At least I now know what that 'big secret' Ford was trying to keep from me was...

Back to the present...

I'm being ushered upstairs by a trio of giggling girlies...

To what I know is the twins bedroom.

(They STILL share one, on the cusp on their 16th birthday?

That's either REALLY creepy

Or quite touching...

I can't decide which...)

We open the door...

And guess who's in there, studying Journal No 1 intently?

Clue: It's not Mickey Mouse.

Dipper looks up from his studies...

(Wow, that IS a Stanford face

I can tell why the two get on so well)

And, completely takes me by surprise...

After all the horrible things I said to him earlier...

After I dismissed him out of hand...

And arrogantly rejected his friendship...

For stuff that was completely beyond his control...

He rushes up to me...

And envelops my sorry self...

In the warmest of hugs...

Which is almost Mabel-esque in it's affection

FLASHBACK 3... IT'S BACK!

I start thinking, again...

And not for the first time today...

About that night...

After he'd saved my life...

And caught that ghost in the mirror...

The way I held him afterwards

Is just like...

Now...

Of course, at the time...

I tried to parley it off as an instinctive reaction...

A rush of blood to the head...

It didn't really MEAN anything...

I was just extremely grateful, that's all...

"Here, have some money..."

I said at the time

"And don't tell anyone about it.

EVER."

But, was that my decision...

Or was it my parents, speaking through me.

Like some kind of far-off medium?

They'd raised me to only show affection to certain people...

And of course, Dipper fell WELL below that standard...

It was that training alone...

(Yes, that IS the right word)

Which had stopped me planting a wet one on his lips, there and then...

(And also because I could see a security camera turning my way...)

Who knows, maybe if I'd been a bit more open about my feelings...

And shown him how TRULY thankful I was that evening...

Things could have worked out differently...

Oh, well...

Water under the bridge...

I had Chad now.

That was enough...

Wasn't it?

END OF FLASHBACK 3

Nevertheless, however uncertain I felt...

I was still officially an item with the quarterback...

So, with great reluctance...

I pushed him away...

And said right in his face...

"You better not be responsible for this, dork."

And do you know what?

He SMILED at me.

Does NO-ONE believe me when I'm trying to be mean anymore?

AARGH!

"It's nice to see you too, Pacifica." He told me.

"And just to let you know...

This was all Mabel's idea.

She came up with the entire plan in that storage closet.

And told me about it as soon as you left.

I must say, it did sound kind of bizarre.

But, I believe in these extreme circumstances...

It was the only option.

You didn't want to go to that party tonight, Pacifica.

You didn't want to hang around with those snobs you call 'friends'

And you certainly didn't want to make a decision you'd regret forever...

In the backseat of a car with someone I could tell you didn't love.

You should save that experience...

For someone you TRULY want to do it with..."

Who does he think he is my abstinence counsellor?

I can't help but notice his slight blush on saying those words, though...

And Mabel, together with Candy, tittering away in the background.

Grenda looks a bit clueless...

As always...

Just what is being implied here?...

I was about to ask him that myself...

But, as seems to be happening a LOT lately...

I was interrupted by the girls shooing Dipper out of the room...

"I'll see you downstairs, Pacifica..." He tells me.

"Look after her, ladies..." He added with a wink.

Yeah, whatever.

As I watch him leave...

I see movement out of the corner of my eye...

My three kidnappers are closing in on me...

With what looks like a strange woolly garment...

Evil grins on their faces...

I catch a glimpse of the front stitching.

One of the words, reads 'Paz'...

They're getting nearer...

Just what do they intend to do with th...

Oh, no.

NO!


	9. Chapter 9

"PUT ON THE SWEATER! PUT ON THE SWEATER!" Those were the chants from Candy and Grenda, as Mabel slowly advanced towards me with the woolly garment in question. Hemmed into the corner of the room as I was, and with no hope of escape, I began sweating buckets as the crazy girl with her homemade clothing slowly closed in.

I mean, just LOOK at it. The purple and yellow colour doesn't go with my party dress at ALL. And, the writing... The stitching on 'PAZ' is loose... WHO THE HELL CALLS ME PAZ ANYWAY?! Answer: Only her. I HATE THAT NICKNAME! Why can't she give me a cool alias... Like 'Dipper?' (Not that I know his real name, but still...). And, 'FRIENDSHIP SWEATER'? Is that like the 'FRIENDSHIP BAG', which they kidnapped me with, before carrying me halfway across Gravity Falls?

Those words must have a different meaning to me.

In desperation, I try to reason with these three weirdos. "Come on guys, knock it off. You can't expect ME, Pacifica Northwest, fashionista extraordinaire, to wear such a grubby outfit. Sweaters are SO last century, and..."

I was cut off by Grenda who had snuck behind me, grabbing my arms and pulling them up. "ALLEY OOPS!" The girl with the muscles shouted.

So startled was I by this sudden movement, I couldn't resist when Mabel ran over and pulled the APPALLING top over my head. "Sorry, Paz." Said the former braces wearer."This isn't up for discussion. Now, ladies... Let's try to make her as comfortable as possible, shall we?"

Before I could process what was happening, Grena had lifted me up and above her head, before depositing my dainty self onto a filthy armchair. In the meantime, Candy and Mabel, both laughing like crazed hyenas, ran around me, while winding some string around my torso... No wait, not string. Were those... CHRISTMAS LIGHTS?! How unseasonal!

I tried to move, but thanks to a combination of my awkward position and the lights keeping my arms pinned to my side, I was as stuck as a broken record. All my shouting and swearing was to no avail, and only seemed to amuse my trio of captors more with every unseemly outburst.

"GET. ME. OUT. OF. HERE!" I yelled through gritted teeth. The only effect this seemed to have is someone turning the TV up downstairs. "DUCHESS, DUCHESS!" It blared away.

"No, no, no. Paz!" Mabel was now sitting down in front of me, her friends flanked either side. "It's time we played our first game of the evening. Girls, are you ready?"

"GAME?! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME... YOU DRAGGED ME ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE... FROM THE GREATEST PARTY OF ALL TIME... SO WE COULD PLAY MUSICAL CHAIRS OR PIN THE TAIL ON THE DONKEY?! ARE YOU INSANE?!" I could not control my anger. But, it was a pretty moot question... Of COURSE she was insane. She was Mabel.

"Nuh-uh". The aforementioned brunette shook her head." This is a SPECIAL kind of game, Paz. It's like truth or dare... But, instead of dares, if you don't tell us the truth... You get one of these." She held out a sheet of stickers in front of her, each one with various cartoony drawings on it, and a stupid phrase. (Like, for example: 'You're the APPLE of my eye, the icing on my CAKE, the silver lining on my CLOUD...).

They reminded me of that dumb kitten sticker she'd given me some years ago during a bizarre game of mini golf I'd played with her ( I lie... The sticker was kinda cute, In fact I've still got it now... BRAIN, BE QUIET!) Sometimes, late at night, I do wonder... What DID happen to Sergei, my old trainer that I just abandoned there, at the Putt Hutt? Sometimes, I can hear those minature golf people singing at night, with him in the background secreaming in his Russian accent "NO MORE! NO MORE!"... Must just be my imagination.

Whatever. Back to the here and now. "Look, Mabel, Candy and Grenda..." I started my sentence. (At this point, the latter two females started hugging each other with tears in their eyes 'SHE GOT OUR NAMES RIGHT!' I heard them whispering. Did that REALLY mean so much to them?). I appreciate all that you're doing for me, but..."

SLAP! I felt a hand on my forehead, and when it came away, in it's place was one of Mabel's stickers. "That's the first lie, Paz." The female twin grinned at me. " You DON'T appreciate what we're doing for you. But, you soon will. Me, and my friends here will make it our mission that you do." The three nodded their heads in unison.

"Now," Mabel continued. " First up with their question... She's a genius inventor, who can make a robot out of old drink cans, a workable space shuttle out of sporks, and blinded my Grunkle Stanley with the power of rainbows... Please give it up for... CANDY!"

The lady herself began to take a mock curtsy, but stopped midway through. She glanced at Mabel, before elbowing her friend roughly "You forgot to say... Is as sweet as her name!"

"OH, SORRY!" Flustered the female twin. "Let me start again. She's..."

"IT'S TOO LATE NOW! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! YOU ARE NOT WORTHY! I WRITE YOU OUT OF MY WILL!". Candy turned her back on Mabel as if in a huff, and the girl with the pet pig looked crestfallen.

Geez, Candy... I'm not really Mabel's biggest fan... But even I think you're overreacting...

Candy couldn't keep up the charade for much longer, and neither could Mabel. The two of them fell about laughing, while a giggling Grenda grabbed both for a group bear hug.

WHAT?! So they were kidding all this time?! How immature. How silly. How childish. How...

Like something I wish me and my besties could do, instead of running around with our noses in the air, criticising... (BRAIN! I'M WARNING YOU! CEASE AND DESIST!)

I waited a few minutes while all this nonsense was going on, before things started to calm down. " AHEM...When you're QUITE finished." I reminded them. "I'd actually like to get home BEFORE Fall."

Wiping the tears of laughter away from her cheeks, Mabel agreed. "Yes, you're absolutely right, Paz. Come on, Candy... Stop messing around. We've had our fun... Let's go back to the scheduled program..."

"Okay, I read you loud and clear, Mabes." The Korean adjusted her glasses "Now, Pacifica... My question for you is... Why do you bully me and Grenda?" She looked sadly at me, and my newfound feelings of regret raised a notch.

Wow. That was blunt... Especially from a usually shy, quiet girl like Candy. Caught by surprise at the unsubtle query, I stammered and stuttered like Candice (to those that aren't in the know, she's a girl I pick on with a speech impediment).

Why, indeed. I've known Candy and Grenda for years... Long before Mabel came to Gravity Falls that Summer three years ago, and wrecked my life with her happy clappy-ness. My parents always told me to look down on those different in any way, and they didn't come much 'special needs ' than that peculiar duo. I mean, come on... A fat girl who sounds like a dude, and a short Asian chick with forks for hands?! Give me a break!

This HAD to be the easiest question in the universe. I was about to put on my best haughty voice, stare straight into those stupid four-eyes and tell her "Because you're a pair of FREAKS!" before following it up with a nasty chuckle. Just like I usually do to my victims.

But then, something stopped me. A sudden thought flashed through my head. As simple as all that sounds... Am I truly being honest with myself when I say all that?

I have to admit... Even in the midst of all the name-calling, sniping, teasing, mocking etc. I carried out on them both with Tiffany and Chantal... I DID have some kind of a sneaking admiration for those two oddballs. I mean... I've NEVER been able to benchpress like Grenda... Or get reptiles to do my every whim... Or balance masculinity and femininity so well. And Candy's genius with electronics... Her cute little broken English... And those nice outfits she wears (What is it the Japanese say? Super Kawaii... Or something...)

Of course, I couldn't actually SAY anything to those two outcasts about what I liked about them. The minute word got round that Pacifica Elise Northwest had sympathies with 'the enemy' I'd lose EVERYTHING. My position as Queen Bee. Head Girl. Mistress Of All I Surveyed. All dead... Just because I found something redeeming in those my other rich friends regarded as socially unacceptable. So, I kept my opinions to myself, and focused on the biggest prize... Winning the respect of my snobby peers, and continuing to tread on the lower classes.

Now however, sitting here like this, in front of the human face of my bullying that I CAN'T get away from (because I'm tied up, natch), seeing my reflection in the tears delicately poised at the edges of her eyes, as this good-hearted girl asks me a simple question, my mind is a complete blank. Why... Why DO I say the things I do? Is it really worth causing such misery and despair, everywhere I go, just to look 'cool'? Just this morning, my answer would have been an unequivical 'yes'.

But, now...

Now...

I just don't know...

So, that's what I say.

"I just don't know...". I tell the three girls, before averting my eyes... Feeling very sorry for myself.

SPLAT!

Another sticker finds it's way onto my face... This time , onto my left cheek. What... You mean that answer wasn't GOOD enough for them?! I answered it as truthfully as I could... What's the point in me playing this dumb game if they can't even follow their own rules?! I turn around to make that very same point, but Mabel is still there when I move my head back.

Staring deep into my eyes with an unwavering, compassionate gaze which immediately silences me, she softly holds my chin and whispers. "You DO know Paz. I can tell just by looking at your watery eyes. And as soon as you answer that question for yourself, as soon as you start feeling bad for all the horrible things you've done to others while me and Dipdop have been away, as soon as you have the courage to know you don't HAVE to be like the rest of your family to be happy, then I promise you... Life will be so much better. And tonight, we aim to put you back on the road we started you on three summers ago... But never finished".

She then engulfs me in one of her infamous hugs, while I shout " I DON'T HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES!" (Quickly wiping them away). UGH! All this touchy-feely crap is making me SICK! ('No, it isn't, it's your guilt')... AARGH BRAIN! Why am I having so much trouble with you tonight?!

Withdrawing from the embrace, Mabel studies me again... The chaos created by my twin mindsets of empathy and stubbornness must make my expression unreadable.

After staring at me for a full minute, Mabel looks back at her friends with a mile-wide smile. "Ladies, I'd say we're on the right track. Let's strike again while the iron is hot... Grenda, you're up!"

I grimaced at my internal conflict, while not being able to move an inch. It was going to be a LLOONNGG evening.

And, we hadn't even got to the 'sparkles' yet.


	10. Chapter 10

"ANNDD NOW, THE WORLD'S STRONGEST FIFTEEN YEAR OLD, SHE CHARMED A BARON AND LOVES ARM WRESTLING ALMOST AS MUCH AS SHE LOVES GLITTER WARS... PLEASE CLEAR THE STAGE FOR... GGRREENNDDA"! That was Mabel, sounding like a ringside announcer, introducing my next interrogator. Whoopee.

Grenda... What an unusual name. I don't think I've ever met anyone else called that before. What WERE her parents thinking? Did her mother and father plan to call her 'Glenda', but accidentally misspelt the name on the documents when she was christened? Or perhaps, they just wanted her to be 'unique'? Well, they certainly got their wish there...

Let's face it... I'm just stalling. And tied up as I am,, trying to retain as much dignity as someone can when they're strung up by Christmas decorations, wearing a jumper which would get me arrested by the fashion police if I dared venturing a foot outside, and being probed by three grinning hippies certainly wasn't how I planned on spending my birthday.

Oh well... Might as well get this over and done with. Then, hopefully I'll be released... And I can catch what's left of my party... See the tail end of the Sev'al Times concert... Meet Chad in his car for our planned making-out session...

Hang on... Where has the feeling of excitement I had about all that gone? Earlier, I was chomping at the bit to get my groove on and celebrate not being celibate that evening (Good play on words, eh? Ha ha). Now... the fizzle seems to have all but disappeared.

AARGH! It's because of these three do-gooders and their rampant obsession of getting in touch with my 'feelings'. I should let them know, that the Northwests have their own personal therapy who is more than qualified to deal with any difficulties I may encounter.

I mean true, she does only seem to specialise in problems such as: Where to move my moneybags if they're taking up too much space in my bedroom, or the best way to combine a variety of seemingly unmatchable colours (Who'd have thought green & blue could go SO well together?). And the minute I bring up any issue of substance that could stunt my mental growth, she makes the sign of the cross, before slowly backing away... But, hey. At least she tries... Right?

At least good old guileless Grenga will pitch me a softball in terms of questions, I can't imagine HER giving me something which would make me sweat, or even cause me a moment's discomfort.

Here she goes..." PACIFICA, YOU'RE A BRAINLESS BLONDE HAIRED BIMBO WHO'LL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING!"

What?! That's not a question... Just a blatantly untrue statement. Well, the hair colour part may be accurate... But I get straight B's on all my tests. I open my mouth to argue against this outrageous lie...

"PACIFICA, YOUR EARRINGS ARE TACKY IMITATION DIAMONDS, YOUR DRESS IS TWO SEASONS OUT OF DATE, AND YOUR SHOES LOOK LIKE THEY BELONG TO A HOMELESS PERSON!" That was Candy, screaming at me before I could respond.

Th...that is so unfair... Th...they don't know how long it took me to pick out this frock this morning. An...and the other stuff... Is just... Them being rude. How could they...

I see Grenda and Candy look at a incredibly hesitant Mabel expectantly, she seems like she has something to say. but doesn't really want to. Eventually though, she seems to wake up, and she blurts out something as fast as she can, as if the words were poison on her tongue.

"PACIFICA-YOU-ARE-A-WORTHLESS-PIECE-OF-RICH-TRASH-WITH-DADDY-ISSUES-WHO-CAN'T-EVEN-HEAR-A-BELL-RINGING-WITHOUT-WETTING-HER-PANTIES."

She stumbled over every word, but eventually made it. As soon as the last syllable was uttered, she turned away shame-faced, her two friends comforting her for doing something so out of character, but necessary for the cause. That is, until...

They heard someone crying.

Sheesh, how embarrassing.

Wait a second...

Why do my hands suddenly feel so wet?

And since when did this room get so blurry?

That's when I realise it...

I'M the embarassing one

I'M the one with the tears streaming down their face.

This... This can't be.

I'm PACIFICA ELISE NORTHWEST, for Godsake!

I've bottled up my emotions for years...

Pushed them to the back of my brain...

Labelled them 'Never To Be Released'.

They're useless.

I don't need 'em.

They only get in the way...

And, yet...

Here I am...

Sobbing my little heart out like a little baby...

In front of my inferiors...

And every time I will myself to stop...

I just get louder and louder...

I try to speak...

But all I can do is make a dry gurgling noise...

STOP IT! STOP IT!

NO-ONE IS SUPPOSED TO SEE YOU LIKE THIS!

AT NIGHT, UNDER YOUR COVERS, FINE...

But... Not like this...

In front of... peasants

They... Could never understand what it's like...

To... Want to be someone else...

When... Every day

You have to... Put on a performance

That will please your parents...

Your classmates...

They expect you to behave in a certain way...

So, you play the role...

But, really...

You long for something different...

To change...

To... Be yourself...

No, they wouldn't understand

No-one possibly could

I'm all alone

I'll always be alone...

Hang on...

Where did this strange warm blanket come from?

I feel something soft and cozy covering me.

I look up, through bloodshot eyes... It's like staring through the porthole in a submarine. I don't have the strength to wipe my face. Crying in great, big spasms like this tends to take away all my vigour.

I should know... I've done it a LOT in the last three years. MUCH more recently.

I expect to see my three taunters pointing and laughing at me... Their insults have reduced me to a blubbering wreck, my sweater is covered with a mixture of moisture and running mascara, and, if I wasn't as bound securely as I am, then I'd no doubt be rocking from side to side in a fetal position in the corner of the room.

I am, in short, a mess.

I bet they took a photo, too. OH NO... THAT'LL BE THE WORST PART...

I can just see it now...My face all over the local paper... "LOCAL SNOB IN PATHETIC PITY PARTY SHOCKER!" My parents will see it and strip me of my fortune. My friends will spot it, and want nothing more to do with me. In fact, I'LL be victim number one in the schoolyard from that point on... Wedgies and swirlies are the only things I'll have to look forward to in my not-so-promising future. The shame will follow me to college... And the only dorm quarters I'll be able to get is the boiler room. I can just see myself, sleeping next to those hot pipes going HUMHUMHUM all night long...

Was this what they call... 'Karma?'

And all because I couldn't keep my big mouth shut.

So, why am I surrounded by darkness, instead of gloating girls?

Have we had a sudden eclipse?

Power cut?

Wait just a second...

I put two and two together...

The heat. The blackness.

And now, the feeling of being squeezed.

I'm in another hug.

This time... A group hug.

Candy to my left, Grenda to my right, and Mabel in the middle.

How unseemly

How common

How... Nice.

Yes, you heard me say it.

It was... NICE.

And... I start feeling better.

I know, I don't really get it myself.

Being trapped in the centre of a scrum featuring a bunch of ragamuffins...

Used to be my worst nightmare

(Well, aside from being a recurrent dream I have

of being a clapper in a bell tower, but that's another story)

But, now all I can think of is...

I feel wanted.

I feel loved.

My other friends would never do this for me.

Tiffany would say I was a lesbian...

Chantal would moan at me for smudging her make-up...

And, Chad...

Only if it was a precursor to sex.

But, right here, right now.

It's like a moment I never want to end...

And, slowly but surely,

That horrible noise I'm making stops...

My tears begin to dry...

And the strangest thing of all...

I begin to lose control of my arms...

I find myself spreading them...

To encompass all three girls...

To return the affection that they showed me...

Yeah, they kidnapped me from my extravagant shindig...

Bought me here by force in an oxygen-free bag...

Tied me to this moth-eaten old chair...

And dressed me in this appalling outfit...

(Which itches like heck, let me add)

But, right now...

None of that seems to matter...

I feel like a great weight (about 1000 pounds)

Has been lifted from my subconscious

And...

As much as it pains me to admit it...

I have these three weirdos to thank for it.

As if mirroring my thoughts, Mabel pulls back from the embrace, and looks me dead in the eyes, before asking "You've been bottling that away for a long time, haven't you Paz?"

I slowly nod. I have nothing else to add.

As Grenda and Candy return to their original positions, I realise that we've all shared a very special moment.

This is something entirely new to me, as with my other two friends, our 'special moments' seem to consist entirely of pushing girls into the boys room, mocking those who are disadvantaged in some way,and extorting others for money, in return for not spreading vicious, false gossip about them.

Those so-called 'special moments'...

Didn't feel very special, at all...

I course, I pretended they were, to keep up the pretense...

But really, I was lying to everyone...

And especially, to myself.

"So Paz, now we've got you in the right frame of mind..." That was Mabel setting up the gun...

And here was Grenda, ready to pull the trigger.

"My question is, how do YOU think others feel when you pick on them?"

OUCH! Low blow, Mabel. I couldn't help but feel somewhat annoyed at the manipulation, and that's why I was determined to make my point to the pig owner...

This time... WITHOUT interruption.

"So, that's what this was all about!" I shouted, sobbing a little again. "Not to comfort me... Not to understand me... But to put me 'in the shoes ' of those I bullied. Well, I hope you're proud of yourself! I bet my hair looks like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards... My eyes look like I've been awake for a week, my face looks like something out of a horror film..." I break down into tears again. I'm missing that group hug already...

Suddenly... I feel a tender arm on my shoulder, and Mabel's eyes are once again boring into mine. "Yes, you do." She answers bluntly. Gee, thanks. "But tell me... How do you FEEL?"

I stared down guiltily at the floor, my tears creating a little puddle. "Pre... Pretty rotten, actually." I croak.

Mabel, Candy and Grenda responded to my confession by linking arms, and twirling themselves around the attic. "SHE GETS IT! SHE GETS IT! SHE GETS IT!"

I stop my crying, in complete amazement at the scene playing out in front of me. You'd have thought it was a bunch of little kids participating in such a juvenile activity, not a trio on the cusp of womanhood. "What 'do I get'?" I ask, confused.

They stop their impromptu routine, and sit down again, putting on their most serious faces.

"You 'get' how I feel when I'm always teased for being too tall, overweight and having a mannish voice" Grenda tells me.

"You 'get' how I feel when I'm always picked on for being short, nerdy and having big glasses" Candy informs.

"And you 'get' how I feel when I'm always bullied for being too happy, wearing colourful sweaters and having braces... Before I had them out". Mabel finishes off things.

I take in everything that I've heard, and the more I think about it... The worse I feel. I said those things because I wanted to be part of the 'in-crowd'... Without thinking of the consequences my harsh words would have on the innocents I tortured. As far as I was concerned, they were just collateral damage... Sacrifical lambs to be slaughtered on the altar of my popularity.

Having been on the receiving end of the abuse though... Felt AWFUL. Just, AWFUL. It made me feel sad. It made me feel sick inside. It made me feel completely worthless. It made me feel...

Like I never wanted to say any of those things to others ever again. No-one deserved to suffer like I just did. No-one.

I factor into that also, the way my Dad treats me at home... I'll be having words with him later about this...

So, when Mabel followed up her confession, by asking me "NOW do you feel bad about everything you've ever done to hurt others?"

I could only blurt out "YES! Worse than anything I've ever done in my life! Oh Mabel... I'm so sorry for all the names I've ever called you... Cheating you out of the crown at the Mystery Shack party... Mocking you during Pioneer day... Stealing the front cover of the paper from you... Insulting your golf skills... Stamping on your foot this morning... Talking about your dead father and ill mother so callously... And, Candy and Grenda... How can I make up for all the times I have..."

I was cut off by Mabel putting her sweaty hand over my mouth "WO, there, cowboy... I see you're repentant for all that, and I accept your apologies... And I'm sure Candy and Grenda do too..."

(She turned round to her two friends to confirm this, as they nodded in unison... I thought I heard Mabel whisper to them 'See I TOLD you she wasn't beyond redemption')

"And in return...", she continued, still with her palm on my lips "I think I speak on behalf of me and Dipstick here... We're both very sorry for not keeping in contact with you at all for the last three years, as noble as our intentions were,... Which probably contributed to you going back to the Valley Girl stereotype bitch we love to hate." She finally removed her hand, and not for the first time that day, I gasped for air.

"Thank you" I exclaimed, a wave of humility washing over me, replacing the guilt that lingered there before. " I don't really deserve ANYONE apologising to me, but I accept yours whole-heartedly. I want to start afresh... And put the past behind me."

"And you know what would be a REALLY good first step?" Mabel grinned at me.

"No?" I responded, perplexed.

"A PUBLIC APOLOGY, AT THE SCHOOL ASSEMBLY TOMORROW!" Mabel excitedly announced, shaking my still tied-up form, like a soft drink waiting to spill everywhere. "You know... So everyone will know you've turned over a new leaf... And you're a whole new, better Pacifica!"

"B...but... I'll lose all my old friends! No one will respect me any longer! I'll be back to being just a normal girl... With no power or influence!" I stammered, unable to fathom the consequences of such a massive undertaking. "A...and if my parents found out..."

"Paz, would that REALLY be such a bad thing to leave your old life behind?" Mabel asked me honestly "From what I can tell, you were never happy... Just miserable, trying to be someone you're clearly not. Let people say whatever they want... You can make NEW, better friends, including us...We'll ALWAYS have your back... And, that includes with your Mom and Dad too." Candy and Grenda nodded their heads enthusiastically at that statement.

My... Old life behind?

Was I REALLY ready?

To let go...

Of all I'd grown accustomed to for so long...

To accept Mabel, Candy and Grenda...

As... Equals?

As... FRIENDS?

Well, actually...

Yes, I could...

I could feel shades of the old Pacifica...

From three summers ago...

Floating to the surface again...

And all my feeling of resentment...

And bitterness...

Just, ebbed away...

It felt great...

And, just like that

I WAS ready

To write a brand new chapter...

Who know where it would take me...

What battles I'd have to face ahead...

The struggles my new outlook would cause...

But, with my friends...

My REAL friends, that is...

I was confident I would succeed.

"I'M READY!" I shouted out, sounding like a certain patty flipping sponge on another network. I grinned at the three other girls present, feeling more alive than I had done for a long time...

It was a genuine smile, without a trace of snark or sneer to it.

Who'd have thought I was capable of it now?

Mabel nodded at me, convinced. "Girls, I believe her. I think it's time we untied our honoured birthday guest now, don't you?"

Candy and Grenda then proceeded to grab hold of the Christmas lights, before running around me like Formula 1 cars, pulling away one layer of string at a time...Before I was FINALLY free.

PHEW! I really needed to stretch my joints after that... And the damn cord of the lights had cut into my hands something awful.

But, you know what?

I didn't care.

I felt as light as a feather.

I was even ready for yet ANOTHER hug, as Mabel approached me.

I held out my arms, ready for the comforting feeling of sweater against sweater...

SLAP!

Wait a sec...

That wasn't a hug...

It felt more like...

Something landing on my right cheek...

I put my hand up there to see what it was...

What the...

ANOTHER STICKER?!

This couldn't be...

"Mabel" I said, confused "I told the truth there. I meant it... Every single word. So, why... have I got THIS?!" I gestured at the extra adhesive on my face.

"Oh, Paz" Mabel giggled. "That's not a sticker of shame... You'll like this one, really. Go on... Peel it off, and see what you think."

Nervously, I did just as the brunette said. I removed it, and looked at exactly what was displayed on the cover.

It was a badly hand-drawn stick figure picture of Me, Mabel, Candy, Grenda, Dipper and, believe it or not, WADDLES standing together, and underneath it in colourfully stencilled writing was FRIENDS 4EVER.

Ugh, how tacky.

How cheap.

How simply... Lovely.

"Wow...Thanks Mabel" I said, showing off my rare genuine smile once more. I pinned it straight onto my sweater, next to PAZ.

Funny, how this scratchy fashion monstrosity seems to be getting more comfortable by the minute.

"Glad you like it!" Mabel beamed, as I sat down next to her. "Now, last but not least, it's time for MY question."

"Shoot!" I replied. At this point, I felt I could handle anything, though my confidence was undercut a bit by Candy and Grenda's sudden attack of the giggles.

"And my question is..." Said Mabel, with eyes like saucers, pausing for effect. "What do you think of my brother?"

Uh oh.


	11. Chapter 11

"Um...Er...Well" I spluttered, at this most unexpected of queries. I don't know what I was expecting to come out of Mabel's mouth, but it most certainly wasn't THAT.

Maybe some rogue foam from one of her infamous 'Smile Dip Fits' (judging by her manic behaviour this evening)... But definitely not THAT.

I mean... Yeah. Since my enforced internment in this grotty little hovel, I've had a lot of time to think about the aspects of my life which are going wrong... And along with my petulance,my bullying, my narcissism, my over-competitiveness and my FAR TOO LONG HAIR (Seriously, I've got to get this mane cut one of these days... Sometimes, it almost suffocates me in my sleep) I think the people I hang around with, and my parents, have got to rank alongside my most toxic influences.

Of course, amongst that crowd I have to include my alleged 'boyfriend' Chad. I see him now as sort of a trophy on my arm, rather than an individual I can love and appreciate (as horrible as that sounds). Sure, he's 'nice' to me... When he wants something in return, such as a quick snog behind the bleachers, or a little grope just before classes start.

But the fact remains... We have NOTHING in common. Even less, now that I've decided to turn my back on my old ways. No longer will I hang around the 'popular' table, insulting everyone who doesn't match up to our impossibly high standards. No longer will I patrol the school corridors, looking for victims to belittle and humiliate based on their social standing.

And no more will I pretend to tolerate an empty headed, sexist blockhead whose only talents consist of scoring the odd lucky touchdown, chugging down beer kegs in record time and inventing new and elaborate ways to try and get into my pants. (My personal favourite: "But babe, we might die tomorrow... SO LET'S DO IT NOW!" How romantic...)

It ALMOST brings a smile to my face... Imagining him waiting outside my mansion in vain, condom in hand, checking his watch every five minutes, until that 'magic hour' at midnight arrives. He was probably looking forward to telling all his fellow jocks in the morning how he 'deflowered' the richest girl in town. Well, he's gonna be disappointed. Thank GOD Mabel and her friends showed me the light (in a non-religious way) before I made a horrible mistake.

That doesn't mean to say I'm going to instantly fall into the arms of Dipper though. I mean... He's sweet, and all... And we had certainly graduated to 'good friends' by the time he left Gravity Falls three years ago, before events took a turn for the worst. But actually...GOING STEADY with him? I wasn't sure I was prepared for that... Or, even if he was.

So, Mabel, Candy and Grenda would have to forgive me for my garbled, non-commital answer. "I... Like him. But... We haven't seen each other for a long time. And... I don't know what he thinks..." I panicked as I looked at each smiling face, eagerly awaiting my answer.

Upon hearing me, the response from those in attendance listening in was like someone letting the air out of a balloon. "AAWWWWW!" Came the reaction, as I could see Mabel weighing up whether to give me another sticker or not...

Then, the brunette perked up. "Well, if your uncertainty over what Dipping Sauce thinks of you is providing a major stumbling block, I can help you out with that... HEY BRO BRO! GET UP HERE! WE'RE HAVING A PILLOW FIGHT IN OUR UNDERWEAR, AND WE WANT YOU TO BE THE REFEREE!" Despite my flustered state of mind, I found myself helplessly creased with laughter on the floor at Mabel's statement.

"WHAT?!" A male voice sounded from downstairs, and it was like a mini-hurricane made it's way from the lower level, up the stairs, before nearly blowing the door off the hinges. Yes, it was the cap wearing geekazoid himself, this time carrying a stopwatch instead of one of his trademark journals.

"Anything I can do to help!" He gasped, clutching his ribs. "On your marks, get set..." He paused, when he noticed we were all fully dressed, rolling around with merriment at his sheer naivety. He rolled his eyes, before sighing and throwing his timepiece into the corner of his side of the room.

"Got me AGAIN, did you?" He muttered, before turning around to descend the stairs. "I ALWAYS fall for that one..." Wow, Dipper. I had no idea you were such a pervert. Perhaps I should cut him some slack... After all, he's at that tender age... When a boy's hormones start to...

Mabel cuts short my sex-ed flashback. "DIPPER, WAIT!" She leaps up and chases after her twin, who she grabs, before leading him back into the attic. "Sorry for fooling you... But you know what it's like. Me and the girls have got to have our little fun!" Grenda and Candy gave him a knowing wink, whereas I just felt like I was missing a private joke. Sounds like this kind of thing has happened before...

"Stay for a minute..." Mabel continued, pulling her brother further into the room. "We REALLY need your help with something..."

Upon hearing this, Dipper looked horrified, trying to shake off his clingy sister and beat Usain Bolt for pace in a hasty retreat.

"No, silly!" Mabel chuckled at her sibling's apprehension... "I don't mean, we're going to give you a makeover... Unless, you want one..."

"I'LL DO HIS HAIR!" Shouted Candy all of a sudden, producting some curlers and clippers from nowhere, as if by magic.

"AND I'll CHOOSE HIS OUTFIT!" Grenda quickly got up, and started rummaging through drawers... Taking out the most girly and glamourous outfits, and throwing them into a heap on the bed.

"Er... I'll... Stay here... And be the judge... And, judge..." I mumbled, wondering how much longer I could survive in this madhouse.

"So... Dipdop... Shall I set up the salon?" Mabel asked her younger twin keenly, ready to transform him into Lord-Only-Knows-What.

"Um... Some other time, perhaps..." Dipper blushed, as he scratched the nape of his neck. "Just tell me what you wanted me for, and I'll be on my way..." 

"OH, NUTS!" "You're no fun!" "PARTY POOPER!" Went the chorus of disappointed voices, as every beauty product was hastily put back into place. Mabel looked displeased for a minute, before FINALLY remembered why she invited him upstairs originally, and a crafty laugh escaped her lips.

"Well, anyway Dipper..." she began. "Remember my plan for this evening? Operation Twinkle? Codename: Get-Our-Old-Friend-Back? Well, it's my absolute pleasure to report... It's been an unqualified success. Pacifica has realised the error of her ways, and has decided, with our help, to start being nicer to people... And make decisions for herself again. WE'VE GOT THE OLD PAZ BACK, BRO-BRO! And only after one session..." She was jumping up and down, while holding onto her sibling's collar... The poor boy looked like he was turning blue...

I raised an eyebrow upon hearing this declaration "What do you mean?" I enquired "After only one session?! You mean to tell me... You would have kept brainwashing me up here... Until, I was 'cured', to your satisfaction? Isn't that a little... Extreme?"

Mabel stopped choking Dipper for a second, to glance back at me. "Of course not, Paz. We had complete confidence that you'd come around the first time of asking! And if not... We wouldn't have held you prisoner... We'd have just come to get you... Every day... In the evening, until we'd worn you down..." Mabel added ominously.

"O...k...ay..." I responded, feeling more than a bit creeped out. Can you imagine... Me walking home at night... Anxiously looking over my shoulder the entire route, for any sign of Mabel's deceptively titled Fun Bus which would no doubt stop right in my path, it's inhabitants wearing homemade cute animal masks as disguises, before they grabbed me to spirit me away to another 'reeducation' assignment...

This nightmarish image was cut short by Mabel sniggering, her hand covering her mouth. "YOU SHOULD SEE THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE!" She shouted out, before convulsing with hilarity once again... Candy and Grenda following her lead. I quietly seethed... For someone so happy-go-lucky... She sure likes to mess with people.

All of a sudden, with Mabel and her friends temporarily incapacitated by their uncontrollable delirium, I found my eyes wandering to Dipper himself. I gave him a sympathetic glance for having such an off-the-wall sister, and he seemed to pick up on it, silently mouthing the words 'I know'.

I could get lost in those... Oops. Too early, Pacifica.

Anyway, when Mabel and her friends had FINALLY halted the silliness, and I'd ALMOST lost the will to live, the pig owner cleared her throat to resume proceedings. "AHEM... As I was saying... Pacifica is now 'back to normal'... comparative speaking, and her clean slate begins tomorrow... When she plans to make a FULL apology during assembly to ALL the people she's picked on while we've been away... And tonight, in between painting our nails and telling each other Werewolf romance stories, we're going to help her work on a list of names of everyone she's tormented... Aren't we, girls?"

Candy and Grenda beamed, obviously well up for it, but I had to jump in. "HEY, that's nearly the ENTIRE school! you didn't say anything about..."

I was hushed by Mabel's flailing elbow. Ow. I deserved that, I suppose, for treading on her foot earlier.

Meanwhile, the ex-braces wearer continued " We were wondering, Dipper, since me and you were the first ones to uncover the TRUE Pacifica, underneath those layers of hate her parents had carefully put into place, would you be able to stand onstage with her and me tomorrow, and offer her moral support through what is sure to be a difficult experience?"

"And besides..." she added, looking down. "It IS partially our fault she regressed back into her old self while we were away, by not calling her, and making her feel as if she was all alone... We gave everyone nasty in her life ample time to warp her way of thinking again..."

I listened intently to her, very much in two minds. On the one hand, upset with myself that I'd let things get this far with my intolerable attitude. On the other, angry that I was so weak I'd let some truly horrible people corrupt my psyche, including, of course, my own mother and father.

Never again.

Dipper listened to his sister, then walked over to me, putting his hands on my shoulders, and stared into my eyes as if he was peering into my soul. "It is REALLY true?" He asked, somewhat emotionally "Do you REALLY want to be a whole new person? Are you SURE you're not just saying this so you can leave here tonight, and go back to your old life, and have a good laugh with your lousy friends at how you conned us all into thinking you'd changed for the better?"

With as much sincerity as I could muster, I stared right back into his brown orbs. "Dipper, I am truly ashamed of myself for the way I acted while you were away, and I will make it up to everyone... Even if it means losing all my old friends, and earning the condemnation of my parents. I KNOW who i want to be now... Not that spoilt little rich bitch you saw this morning... But that happy, sassy girl you trod mud into the carpet with that day at my mansion. I don't expect you to believe any of this now... I will start my new journey tomorrow, in front of the entire school... And I hope, in time... You'll see me for who I really am..."

My voice trailed off as I looked away, my emotions taking over. I managed to wring a few more tears out... Funny, I thought the well would be barren by now. I must be on my last reserves of fluid, at least.

Unsure how Dipper would respond to my little speech, I turned to face him again... Only to be met with a pair of arms flinging themselves around my neck, the feeling of fuzzy facial hair rubbing my cheek, and a soft breath in my ear. "It's okay... I believe you NOW. I'll be there in the morning with you, front and centre... Holding your hand, all the way... And afterwards, as well... Whenever you need me... This time, let's finish the journey together... I'll never leave you alone to suffer again..." Dipper's hands gently massaged my back, as I started to wonder if there was a broken tap behind my eyes.

Meanwhile, I got some serious flashbacks to when we caught that lumberjack ghost, when I embraced him in much the same way as he is now doing to me... And I was about to kiss him then, just like no...

Suddenly, my vision was cut short by the sight of Candy, Grenda and Mabel in front of me, but behind Dipper... All reacting in different ways to this gratuitous display. Grenda was giving me a firm 'THUMBS UP' sign with her rather thick digits. Candy was smiling... A little forced, perhaps? Don't tell me... She's got a cru... Nah, best not to speculate on such things...

Mabel... Well, what do you think? She looked like a firework ready to explode, a rocket about to launch, a lottery winner recieving their cheque... That was good old Mabel for ya. In Love With Love, and probably about to add another column to her 'MATCH MADE' worksheet.

Perhaps, a little early for that... But we'll see, sister... We'll see...

Dipper finally withdrew from the warm hug, (must be a Pines family speciality) but still held me close. "Don't worry, okay? Everything's going to be fine. Anyway, enough about the heavy stuff ... I seem to remember... It's someone's 16th birthday today! And seeing as how we've dragged you away from your own celebrations, I think the LEAST we can do is put on a little soiree for you now..." He winked at Mabel, who hesitated for a minute, before realising what her twin was getting at.

She rushed over to a cheap looking sound system on her corner, and put in a CD. Skipping through a few other songs, she eventually settled on a track..."Oh, girl you got me ackin' so cray cray..." The tune started, rather muffled.

"We're REALLY sorry you missed Sev'ral Times this evening, live." Dipper said. "And this isn't 'their latest single...' But we figured... We'd try to give you the next best thing... So anyway, happy birthday, Pacifica."

He then kissed me.

ON

THE

CHEEK

Calm down shippers, it was purely a platonic peck.

Still didn't stop me from turning an attractive shade of scarlet, though.

Candy and Grenda were laughing at my discomfort...

While Mabel had vanished for the time being.

(I'm kind of glad for her in a way... any more excitement tonight, and that girl would be halfway to the moon by now)

Oops, and now she's back... Kicking the door open.

Brief period of silence... Over.

"I'VE GOT PRESENTS!" She announced, accompanied by an oinking Waddles, as a small heap of gifts in her outstretched hands threatened to spill over the floor. "AND HE WANTED TO WISH YOU A HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOO!" She added, pointing at the porker in question.

What...? They'd prepared all this... Even AFTER the way I behaved this morning?

I...I couldn't believe it...

So, THIS is what having 'real friends' felt like...

"I don't deserve this..." I stammered, as Mabel literally dropped the gifts onto me.

"NONSENSE!" Mabel grinned, as I examined each carefully wrapped parcel. "You're our friend now... And I KNEW you'd come through tonight! I never lost faith!"

Her belief in me was inspiring... Not to mention illogical. After all, she seemed to have a LOT more confidence in me than I did in myself...

Perhaps, with her and her brother's help, I really could... Break The Northwest Chain...

Suddenly, the music stopped. It was Dipper, who had hit the 'MUTE' button.

"Oh Dipper, no fair!" his sister protested. "You can listen to BABBA later!"

"No... SHH! I thought I heard something outside..." Dipper walked to the window, and looked through the glass.

"Yeah, right Dipstick! That's the oldest excuse in the... OOO." Mabel stopped herself mid-sentence as she stood next to her brother.

Grenda and Candy, who had been doing a bizarre waltz together in the centre of the room, soon joined them.

Only Waddles remained, to sniff at a random stain on Dipper's side.

"Er, Pacifica?" Dipper spun around to get my attention.

"Huh?" I was busy looking at the presents. I hadn't opened them yet, but I could tell just by looking at the labels, the shapes and solidity of a couple that Dipper had got me a giant book, and Mabel another sweater (to add to my collection of one). How refreshingly predictable.

"Could you come here for a minute please?" Dipper seemed quite frantic.

"Okay, okay, hold your horses..." I put off my inspection for a minute, joining the twins and the other girls at what was now a very crowded window sill.

And, what did I see?

Why, my father at the front door of the Mystery Shack...

Having a VERY animated conversation with Messrs Stan...

And about ten police cars, all with their lights a-flashing.

At the risk of repeating the final line of the last chapter...

I'll say it again...

Uh-oh...


	12. Chapter 12

I froze in horror. My father, here... NOW? Just when things were starting to look up...

How did he track me down? Could it have been the tyre marks left by Stanley's erratic driving near 'the scene of the crime'? Perhaps one of our aging servants DID spot me as I was seized by Mabel and company. Maybe there were hidden cameras (that I hadn't been told about) at the Northwest Mansion I wasn't aware of that had picked up everything...

Who knows. What I AM sure of now, is the fact that I'm in big, big trouble. My father probably assumes that, as I was taken here by force (THAT much is true) I'm still being held captive inside, desperate to escape. That's why the cavalry are there... Knowing him, as soon as I'm 'rescued', he'll insist I press charges, so that good old Stanley can be in a cell next to Gideon, and the Pines twins are taken into care.

Did I mention, that my dad isn't a very nice person?

Anyway, staring at him now, with his face resembling a tomato on the verge of exploding, I can tell that he is very, VERY angry. And this is coming from someone who's been subjected to him at his worse... So take my word for it. I dread to think how he'll react when he finds out that over the course of the last few hours I've done a complete 180 degree turn in my way of thinking, by deciding to change my ways permanently, and restore the Northwest name by taking it in a new, more humanitarian direction.

Answer: He'll flid his lid. Well, it's just something he'll have to learn to accept. Ha ha.

He looks like he's about to punch Stanley... Which probably isn't a good idea, since from what I hear the older Stan is a bit handy with his fists. Stanford looks like he's wilting a bit under the pressure... You can tell who protected who when they went to school together. I hope neither will hold it against me that my father has decided to bring half the precinct here tonight in his quest to find his 'darling daughter...' He was merely doing what any doting parent would do for their most precious possessi... I mean, girl.

Suddenly I hear the static of a loudspeaker, as the unmistakable voice of Sheriff Blubs can be heard in the night air "TO THE INHABITANTS OF THE MYSTERY SHACK" he drolled "IF PACIFICA ELISE NORTHWEST IS IN THERE, PLEASE RELEASE HER UNHARMED AND WE PROMISE NO-ONE WILL BE HURT. Psss... Durland!... Grab the guns and grenades... And go round the back... Huh? What do you mean it's still on... Oops... Er... PLEASE DISREGARD THOSE LAST FEW WORDS. I WAS TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE. WE ALL WANT A PEACEFUL RESOLUTION..."

Ignoring the half-baked ramblings of the inept officer, I turned back to my new friends, who were still staring at the manic scene in front of them. "What do I DO?!" I screeched, to the one person who I thought was sensible enough to help me find a way out of this mess (his name starts with a D, in case you don't know who I'm referring to). I was starting to hyperventilate, like I used to in the bad old days... When my dad would stand over my pathetic form... Bell in hand... Ready to administer justice with his belt...

"CALM DOWN, PACIFICA!" Said the capped boy beside me. "We'll find some way out of this... Together..." I felt him squeezing my hand, and my cheeks flushed red.

No time to think about that now though... As Mabel was ruuning around like a lunatic... Throwing anything she could lay her hands on into a big bag... The same one they transported me here in, by the looks of things. "We'll need food... about fifty bars of chocolate should do it... Something to drink... Dipper, have you still got that crate of lemonade we took from home... Somewhere to sleep... OH, WE CAN CAMP OUT! I'll leave a note for our Grunkles... Tell them we'll be back when this has all blown over... Is there enought space in this sack for Waddles..."

"Mabel..." Her brother said...

"COME ON SWEETHEART! WE'RE GOING ON A LITTLE TRIP!" Mabel pleaded with her pet to stop licking that unknown splotch on Dipper's side, so that he could be packed away.

MAbel... Dipper was starting to lose patience.

"THERE'S A GOOD PIG! Come on... Whatever it is you're eating... I'll get you more of it, as soon as we hit the road..." Mabel was urging her porcine companion to pay attention.

"MABEL!" The younger mysterious twin finally snapped, which had the desired effect of breaking his twin out of her trance.

"What is it, Dipstick? Can't you see... I've got lots to do before we elope tonight... And the sooner I get it sorted... The quicker we can leave... And count the stars in the sky before we drift off..." Mabel paused for a minute, savouring this poetic image in her mind.

"Sis, that's not going to help anyone!" Dipper groaned. "The police will still be after us... Candy and Grenda have homes to go to... And, in case you don't know the definition, 'ELOPE' is what lovers do when they run away together, not us!"

Mabel stared at her sibling for a second, before an evil grin slowly worked it's way onto her mouth. "Are you SURE about that? The way you know all about what that word means... And just look at you holding onto Pacifica's hand now as if your life depended on it! It makes me think... SOMETHING'S HAPPENING HERE!" She eyed us both with a glint in her eye.

"WHAATT...?!" Dipper quickly pulled away from me, using the same hand to pull down the rim of his cap, as if he was trying to hide something. "Don't be silly! I could never l-love..." He struggled to finish this sentence, without unintentionally offending me. "W-what I mean to say is... We've only just become friends for the first time in years! Give us a chance to reacquaint ourselves first... Before you start booking the church...!"

Mabel was undeterred. "Oh, so you mean... There IS a chance! WOO HOO! Grenda, I've got a great idea! After you marry Marius... We can use the same dresses... To Paz and Dipdop's wedding!" The other two girls were ecstatic at the idea, and were already discussing materials, patterns and colours of outfits... IN THE MIDDLE OF A SIEGE.

I think me and Dipper facepalmed at the same time there... If you were being REALLY picky, I suppose he may have been a micro-second faster... But we're talking margins here.

In fact, so caught up were we in our inconsequential conversation, we completely failed to notice the lights of the helicopter shining through the window... Before it was too late.

All of us turned around to the sound of rotor blades, and the sight of men with what looked like GUNS trained on us through the glass.

Wow, I guess the local force ARE taking this seriously... It looks like they've deployed half their resources to this 'hostage' situation alone.

One of the occupants of the airborne vehicle full of snipers addressed us in a very brusque, uncompromising manner. " IT'S ALL OVER, KIDS. WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED. COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP... OR, WE HAVE PERMISSION TO SHOOT."

'Wow', I thought 'Surely that can't be the case... not for minors...' But then I realised... The Northwests practically OWN this town... So, if we wanted to elicit child murder and get away with it... All it would take was a few easy backhanders. and it would all quietly be brushed under the metaphorical carpet.

Ugh. My family... How did I tolerate them for so long?

Me, Candy, Grenda, Dipper and Mabel realised we had no option. Nodding to each other, we raised our arms and slowly backed away from the window. Encouraged by our surrender, the commanding voice nevertheless spoke again... Though, perhaps less severe this time...

"Okay, good. Now, just head downstairs... And our officers will be ready to meet you. We don't want anyone to harmed... So, co-operate, and it'll all be over soon." The speaker then pointed out something to the pilot, who then drove the helicopter away into the distance.

Just after that, we heard a lot of banging around on the first floor... It sounded like the two Stans had been taken into custody... Allowing the law to have free reign of the place. There really was no way out...

I felt a little scared. What would happen next? No doubt I'd be returned home... Goody. Did the party go on without me? I didn't really care at this point. What would I say to my parents? I already knew I was going to beg them to easy on my so-called kidnappers... Perhaps I could say it was a party game that we had all devised...

'Yes, Mr and Mrs Northwest... We abducted your offspring just before her big society ball because we thought it would be HI-LAR-IOUS to have you going out of your heads with worry at the notion she might be hurt, dead or worse. No hard feelings, eh?'

...Nah, I don't think that's gonna work somehow.

I pondered all my options, as I descended the stairs with the others. I could already see there were more cops in protective gear around the shack than I'd ever seen customers. I don't think they were hear to buy anything, though. On the contrary... They looked to be smashing stuff up. BIG time...

The wooden counter was split in two, there was "I WAS BEDAZZLED AT THE MYSTERY SHACK" T-Shirts (designed by Mabel, naturally) T-shirts strewn everywhere and, a minature Stanley's head on a spring hitting me on the shoulder, as I passed the shelves.

I looked down at the pitiful broken toy as it lay there on the ground, and silently murmured to it, as if I was talking to the skinflint himself: "Sorry, man."

Regardless of the future of this decreipt building (Which hadn't looked this beat up since that day of the earthquake) I had my own priorities to take care of. As soon as they spotted us, ten of the policemen immediately ceased their needless and heedless destruction, to hem our little group into a tiny space, where we couldn't move an inch. Mabel to my left, Dipper on my right, Candy and Grenda just in front.

They were yelling at us to do something, but because they were all shouting at once, it was impossible to make out what was being said. We just stood there, nonplussed, arms aloft and frightened out of our wits. You could cut the tension with a knife...

Suddenly, one of the officers, obviously intimidated by the size of Grenda, lashed out completely unprovoked... hitting her with the butt of his rifle to an accompanying grisly crunching noise... Making her stumble back, and her broken nose to erupt in a sea of blood.

Dipper, who had been protectively hovering over my form, gnashed his teeth, and like the gentleman he is, made a dive for the anonymous brute who assaulted her. BIG mistake.

No sooner had he made his move, he was tackled by several men at once, while the rest of the girls were roughly pushed towards the entrance... Whereas I...

Now that I'd been spotted, I felt a hand slip into mine, pulling me forward. I looked up at the helmet wearing face of my 'rescuer', just before he removed the visor... And he told me, in a soothing tone. "It's alright, Miss. You're safe now. Your parents are waiting for you outside. Please come this way."

And with that, he guided me to my not-so-long awaited reunion, while all I could focus on was what had happened to my friends. As soon as I got to the front door...

WOW. It was like a media frenzy. Aside from the completely over the top police presence, there were major news organizations from all over America there...

Perfectly coiffured reporters standing around with their cappucinos, wittering away about how the poor Northwest heiress had been brutally captured on the eve of her Sweet Sixteeth... And relocated to this shabby little hut in the woods where she had no doubt been mistreated and tortured until the 'brave' officers had found her in the nick of time and saved her life...

Yeah, whatever.

Then, you had the locals being held back by makeshift barriers, wildly trying to get a glimpse of just what on Earth was going on, to turn their quaint little town into an international story in the space of one night. Tambry was there alone, snapping away (She STILL hadn't got over her cellphone addiction, but apparently over her former boyfriend) and poor old Toby Determined, living up to his surname as he desperately tried to break his way through the throngs to get his headline... But being completely overwhelmed by his much more well known journalist colleagues.

In the background, the whirl of rotor blades could still be heard, and even MORE police cars started to arriving. Even though the 'crisis' was now over... My parents still had to make a scene. I knew they'd milk this for all this was worth... With me as their main pawn.

Speak of the devil (literally)... "PACIFICA, DARLING! YOU'RE FINE!" That was my dad alright, as I felt his strong arms around me, in the most stiff and unconvincing of hugs. "WE WERE SO WORRIED, YOU HAVE NO IDEA! ME AND YOUR MOTHER HAVE BEEN BESIDE OURSELVES WITH..." He glanced to his right, and I followed his eyes... And there was my Mom, posing for the cameras, as if modelling for Vogue.

Typical. Why else do you think she's spent enough on plastic surgery to clear most Third World country's debts?

"PRISCILLA!" My father bellowed out to her in the middle of her posturing, and straightaway she snapped out of her vain facade, to join us... A big, phony smile showing up on her plastic lips. And to think, she wanted ME to have the same procedure done in a few years.

No thanks, Mom... I'd rather not be a walking, talking Barbie doll.

"OH, MY LITTLE ANGEL!" Screeched the lady herself, smothering me with kisses. "THOSE AWFUL, AWFUL PEOPLE! DON'T WORRY... WE'LL MAKE SURE THEY'RE LOCKED UP FOREVER... AND, THEN WE'LL BULLDOZE THIS EYESORE DOWN TO THE GROUND!" She pointed at the Mystery Shack, while I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Suddenly, I felt myself being navigated into position, as my parents stood behind me... No doubt readying themselves to pose for the image that would be splashed all over the front pages tomorrow. 'Perfect family back together' the text underneath would scream. If only they knew the truth...

In the midst of all the flashes of light, something caught my attention to the left. It was Chad, who had somehow managed to drive his car to the corner of the pandemonium spread out before me, and was even now pointing at his back seat with a smug leer, as if he still expected me to spread my legs for him that night.

And guess who was alongside him? That's right... My two 'besties' Tiffany and Chantal waving. Tiff was wearing a 'I've rocked with Sev'ral Timez ' T-Shirt (indicating that they had started the concert without me, those ungrateful...) while Chan had a big piece of expensive cake in her hand, suggesting that they'd polished off dinner, too (And, so much for her diet).

"GET OFF ME! MABEL, WHERE ARE YOU?!" Oh my gosh, that was Dipper's voice... Coming from my right. I twisted my head once again... And saw the boy in question, being carried out by no less than four cops, while he fidgeted like crazy and lashed out. He couldn't see his sister, but I could... In the back of a police car, crying her heart out with Candy and Grenda (who had a large piece of red cloth held to her nose).

Also present were the two Stans... Who were being led away from the other teenagers, and put in a separate vehicle. Of the two, Stanley seemed to have put up the most resistance. He was limping a bit, and sported an impressive black eye. Stanford looked like someone who had just accepted his fate meekly... He walked along, head bowed, probably worried the secret experiments in the room behind the vending machine would be discovered by the interlopers.

Yes, I DO know about them, you know. I was once really close to the family... Once upon a time...

And, as my sorry parents preened and smirked in front of the lenses, it got me thinking...

This was like... A choice...

Left... Or right.

Go left, listen to my mother and father, stick with my old ways and friends...

It would certainly be much easier... And no-one would ever know I almost veered off course...

Or, go right... Stand up to my Mom and Dad, change myself and ditch my former acquaintancies...

It would be unbelievably tough... And I could stand to lose EVERYTHING.

Come on Pacifica, it's make your mind up time...

The clock is ticking...

TICK TOCK...

COME ON GIRL, YOU CAN DO THIS!

Or maybe, I couldn't...

My eyes flitted around rapidly...

I was desperate for something...

ANYTHING...

That could help me make this major decision...

Then, I saw it...

It was Stanley...

The same man I'd poured my little heart out to when the twins had gone away the first time...

He'd comforted me, despite my earlier misbehaviour...

Let me into the Shack, despite me calling it a 'grotty little hovel'...

Allowed me to befriend his employees, despite me being from a totally different social class.

And gave Mabel permission to carry out her highly volatile plan that evening to set me straight.

Despite the fact it looked like it was going to lead to the destruction of the shack... And a long term of imprisonment for him.

Basically, despite his 'couldn't care less' demeanor, he'd always been there...

And THIS is how I repaid him.

Closing down his business, and sending him to jail.

And, worst of all...

Having his precious niece and nephew taken away...

After they'd waited so long to live here...

Some gratitude I showed.

I could see it in his facial expression now, as he looked at me...

A mixture of sorrow, betrayal and anger

It wasn't very pleasant to gaze on...

But it at least brought me back to reality.

Breaking free of my parents grip...

And ignoring their cries of surprise...

I grabbed the nearest mike off one of the newscasters...

And put my face to a camera, which happened to be broadcasting worldwide.

"LISTEN, EVERYONE." I yelled. "I HAVE SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT TO SAY NOW..."


	13. Chapter 13

I cleared my throat, ready to address the entire world, to expose my family for what they were, to clear the good name of the Pines from the awful, untrue allegations against them...

Wait, my hair was a MESS... My make-up was RUINED... I still had those stupid stickers on my face... And I was wearing that dopey sweater Mabel had given me... Did I have enough time to change my outfit, maybe spruce my appearance up a...

NO! I shook my head in exasparation at myself. THAT WAS THE OLD PACIFICA! What was important now was the message... My family are jerks, The Pines were doing me a favour... YADAYADAYADA...

Still, the twins were going to owe me BIG TIME for sacrificing my self-image so they could get off scot-free. GRRRR.

Who knew that having a conscience would be so stressful?!

Suddenly, my vain thoughts were interrupted by a predictable call that I'd heard many times before. It must be important, too... As he used my entire name. Fancy that.

"PACIFICA ELISE NORTHWEST." Preston bellowed. (It was hard to think of him as my father at the moment, ssoooo welcome to his new monicker) "GET HERE THIS INSTANT! IF WE'RE GOING TO MAKE THE EVENING EDITIONS OF THE PAPERS, WE CAN'T WASTE TIME ON PRIVATE INTERVIEWS!"

So, that's what he thought this was all about... Man, was he in for a shock.

"Sorry 'Presto' " I snapped back... "But I'm not your puppet anymore. I'm going to go on TV now, in front of millions of people, and tell them EXACTLY what's been going on today... What I think of the people in my life... And how... How I intend to change." I was still unsure about that last part... But, damn it... I was gonna try. I would try.

"OH, WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO MY LITTLE GIRL?!" Priscilla (formerly known as my mom) cried, probably more upset with me messing up 'the family picture' than at my defiant act. "THEY'VE BRAINWASHED HER! THEY'VE TURNED HER INTO... A COMMONER!"" She screeched those last two words out, as if it was the worst crime in the world.

"Well, I'd rather be 'A COMMONER' then someone who lets her daughter get routinely hit, and tortured with a bell when she doesn't do as she's told!" I replied. "And, what kind of Mom leaves their kid locked in a closet while she goes out to parties and banquets... As far as I'm concerned, you're just as bad as Preston... PRISCILLA!"

My ex-mother winced upon hearing me address her by her birthname, and sunk her head deep into Preston's expensive Gucci jacket. The wearer of said fashionable item took the time to silently push her away (Don't wanna put your wives emotional state above possibly getting your coat wet, do ya?) before giving me the most evil of leers.

"YOU. ARE. A. NORTHWEST." He snarled, his eyes burning with the intensity of fire. "I WILL DISCIPLINE YOU AS I SEE FIT... LIKE MY FATHER BEFORE ME... AND MY FATHER BEFORE THAT. I THOUGHT WE'D PUSHED ALL THAT HAPPY-CLAPPY NONSENSE ABOUT MINGLING WITH THE LOWER CLASSES OUT OF YOUR HEAD, WHEN THOSE TWIN FREAKS LEFT THE TOWN. OBVIOUSLY I WAS MISTAKEN. TO SET YOU STRAIGHT AGAIN MY GIRL, WILL TAKE MANY MONTHS OF THERAPY. FORTUNATELY, I HAVE JUST THE THING HERE TO PUT YOU ON THE RIGHT PATH AGAIN"... He reached for his inside pocket.

I didn't have to wait to know what was in there.

Yep, it was The Bell, alright... ever since I was a toddler, and started getting thoughts that weren't becoming of a Northwest (Such as generosity, loyalty, kindness, honesty... You know the rest) I got a SLAP! Quickly followed by a RING RING! I soon began to directly associate the tingle with pain... And did everything I could to avoid it.

In other words, I turned into a selfish, obnoxious, mean spirited little b*tch...

The apple of my parents eye...

Just like every Northwest before me...

Well, that cycle was going to end NOW.

The Pines family had showed me the way...

And I wasn't about to let them down.

So, I stood there, stock still...

Staring the demon who pervaded my dreams every evening, down...

I WASN'T going to let him win.

I WAS going to make my own decisions.

I WOULD be my own person.

I grit my teeth, ready to face the music

(Pun not intended)

This would be a historic battle...

Master Vs Slave...

Place your bets now, folks.

Battle is about to commence.

"RING, RING!" went the bell (Round one, if you like)

M:"Come here, Pacifica... It's time to go home."

S:"NO! I'M NEVER GOING BACK TO THAT AWFUL PLACE EVER AGAIN!

RING RING! (Round Two)

M: "Pacifica, what we do to you... We do for your benefit..."

S: "WHAT, TRAIN ME LIKE A DOG, HIT ME, AND LIE ABOUT OUR FAMILY'S HISTORY? YEAH, RIGHT!"

RING RING! (Round Three)

M: Pacifica, you have to understand... We're not like the rest of these riff raff...

S: "YOU'RE RIGHT THERE! NORMAL PEOPLE TREAT EACH OTHER WITH RESPECT... ALL YOU'RE INTERESTED IN IS MONEY AND POWER... AND YOU DON'T CARE WHO YOU TREAD ON TO GET IT!"

RING RING (Round Four)

M: "Pacifica, our family has been bred since birth to rule Gravity Falls... Where do you think everyone would be, if not for us?"

S: "THEY'D BE MORE EQUALITY, MORE DIVERSITY, LESS INTOLERANCE... YEAH, SOUNDS TERRIBLE...

RING RING (Round Five)

M: "PACIFICA ELISE NORTHWEST, IF YOU DON'T COME WITH US NOW YOU'LL LOSE EVERYTHING! YOUR INHERITENCE... YOUR EXPENSIVE CLOTHES... YOUR REPUTATION... NO ONE WILL WANT YOU! NO ONE!"

At this point I realised he was bringing out the big guns. He thought he had me on the ropes... Ready to concede defeat... Start the referees countdown... End the bout now...

Little knowing of course, just how much strength and resolve the last few hours had given me. It was time to call a certain person's bluff...

S: "YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL, PRESTON! I DON'T WANT AN EMPIRE BASED ON HATRED AND CORRUPTION! AND, IF I DON'T MIND SAYING SO, THIS 'HORRIBLE' SWEATER IS STARTING TO FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE BY THE SECOND. AS FOR OUR PRECIOUS REPUTATION..."

I gestured to about one hundred cameras that were busy filming our little tete-a-tete. They'd picked up everything... From Preston's blatant admittance of child abuse, to his confession (by not denying it) about the Northwest's less than savoury past.

And in his blind fury, Preston had neglected to notice the footage had been going out to millions of viewers worldwide.

Oops.

"... I THINK IT'S SAFE TO SAY... A FEW DAYS FROM NOW... IT WILL BE... HOW SHALL I SAY THIS... MUD? AND GOOD RIDDANCE TO IT!" I shook my fist in triumph, knowing that I'd scored a 'Total Knockout".

SLAVE WINS!

I'll never forget the next few moments. Preston, usually so arrogant, full of himself, in complete control of every situation, was surrounded by disapproving faces and tutting mouths...

And he didn't like it one bit.

He appeared completely flustered at this unexpected turn of events, as the journalists surrounded him, ready to ask some very awkward questions to go along with their new headline:

'THE PERFECT FAMILY THAT NEVER WAS'

What's the matter, 'Papa'? You always said you wanted the Northwest name to be known across the globe...

It looks like your wish is going to come true.

Suck on it.

"Preston, did you REALLY lock your daughter up in a confined space when you went out?"

" Preston, did you REALLY hit an infant because she didn't learn to walk fast enough?"

"Preston, is it TRUE that the Northwests are a bunch of dirty ne'er do wells we'd be better off without?"

"Preston, is that 'tache even real?"

On and on went the sensationalist queries, until the man they all wanted to talk to was sweating like a pig (Sorry, Waddles) and even narcissistic Priscilla was getting fed up of the non-stop flashing while the photographer took pictures of the disgraced former power couple.

"Er... Listen everyone..." Said Preston "We'll arrange a press conference in the morning... Where we'll explain everything... This is a simple misunderstanding... We'll get it all sorted out, mark my words..." He gave out a nervous laugh... As if I didn't know already, he was STILL trying to bluff his way out of this.

"And as for YOU..." He waved an angry finger in my general direction, saliva sprinkling the nearby press pack. "Consider yourself DISOWNED henceforth". Erm... Hello? At what point in the last few minutes did it look like I gave a damn? That was kinda the whole reason for my insubordination. To make a fresh start?

"I think I can live with it" I smirked, as interviewers continued to harague the Northwests, and even some of the watching locals started to boo. " And by the way... Daddy-o... The cameras are still rolling..."

I pointed at the surrounding paparazzi, which had shot more than enough incriminating evidence to change public perception of him forever... Now, he was just adding fuel to the fire.

"You haven't seen the last of me..." He issued a final threat, before he led his wife away "You'll pay for this... You'll see."

"Well, SOMEONE needs to." I hollered back, cheekily. "Because, by the time the District Attorney's finished investigating you for fraud and embezzlement... I don't think you'll have two pennies to your name." A startled expression appeared on his face as he made his exit.

Yep, I knew about that, too. All the Northwest secrets were going to come out now... I would see to that. In me, the authorities had the ultimate informant...

And I intended to make sure they went away for a very, very long time... Both for what they did to me... And, to countless others.

By the time I'd finished with them, their name would be ranked alongside the Borgias in terms of popularity...

Or, should I say, notoriety.

"But she's our DAUGHTER!" I just made out my former mother scream, while she was dragged through the throngs.

"SHE'S NO DAUGHTER OF MINE!" Those were Preston's final words I heard, before they vanished (hopefully for good) in a sea of reporters.

No words had ever uplifted me so much.

And now, it was my turn to be the centre of attention. After the chaos of before, things took on a milder air, as the assembled people looked at me with a mixture of sympathy for what I'd been through, and admiration for speaking out about it.

The Pacifica from yesterday would have lapped up the limelight.

But that, as they say, was yesterday.

And there was only one thing on my mind at the moment.

"EVERYONE!" I shouted through the mike, before a beguiled audience. "I'LL EXPLAIN MORE IN A MINUTE... BUT I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY... I DO NOT WISH TO PRESS CHARGES ON THE PINES! IN FACT... WHAT THEY'VE DONE FOR ME TODAY IS THE GREATEST GIFT ANYONE HAS EVER BESTOWED ON ME... AND YES, I DO INCLUDE MY LAKE FOAM DRESS IN THAT! I WANT THOSE AT THE BACK TO PASS ON WORD TO THE POLICE TO RELEASE THEM, AND BRING THEM OVER HERE... BECAUSE I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY TO YOU ALL..."

At this juncture, I turned around to Tiffany, Chantal and Chad, who'd been frozen like Madame Tussards exhibits since the start of my unexpected outburst.

"And you guys might as well stick around as well..." I added quietly, with a wink and a smile.

The jock and the two snobs looked at each other with uncertainty.

Oh boy, this was going to be fun.


	14. Chapter 14

The rest of the Pines family struggled through the huddled masses, having been released on my command by the cops. The first one to greet me in earnest was Mabel, who enthusically flung herself at my person, her arms fastening around my neck as a mixture of relief at being free and pride in me standing up for myself were made apparent in her demeanor.

"I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T LET US DOWN, PAZ!" She gushed, as I just about spotted Dipper and his Grunkles through the strands of her long brunette hair.

Dipper himself smiled at me and gave me the obligatory thumbs up, while Stan and Stanford just continued to stare me, wondering about my next move...

And soon, one cuddle became one huddle, as Grenda and Candy joined the fray. Just having Candy clinging onto me as well would have imbalanced me slightly, but Grenda truly tipped the scales over, and before I knew it I was on the hard ground.

I was getting absolutely filthy, as the sweaty bodies on top insisted on rolling me around in the dirt. Everyone was staring in amazement at the so-called stuck-up Northwest girl in an itchy homemade jumper, her skin covered in weird stickers...

And she was loving every single moment of it.

Yes, folks. The old Pacifica was dead. Long live the new Pacifica.

I could still be snarky. I could still love fashion. I could still despise Pitt Cola, and all of their associated subsidiaries.

But I could do all those things, because they're what I chose for **myself**. No more would I have to be told what to do every step of my life. No more would I get my jollies at the expense of others' suffering. No more would the people I hang around with be carefully screened in advance, lest they be **commoners**...

Speaking of which...

"Mabel, Grenda, Candy... I would just like to say, you're my new best friends. I'm sure we'll have lots of fun times together in the future, and I'll never be able to repay you enough for helping me to see the light. So, for now, a simple 'thank you' will have to suffice."

Their reaction was somewhat predictable. More embraces. Cries of "WE LOVE YOU TOO, PAZ!" A few tears were even shed. It felt great, even as I was slowly being crushed.

But I had other matters to attend to. As long as the cameras were still trained on me, I couldn't wait. The message must be sent out.

"Okay, okay. That's enough. I love you guys too, but I have to take care of something. If you could just get off me for now, it won't take long. I need to talk to the world. It... Means an **awful** lot to me..."

The girls listened carefully to the begging tone of my voice, and the endless pawing of my frame suddenly stopped, as they understood. That's what besties do I suppose, we just 'get' each other on a deeper level. They quickly climbed off, so I could take care of business.

"Don't worry, you'll be involved as well. I'll let you know, when the time is right. For now, could you go and stand over there please, so you're out of shot..."

My new friends nodded in unison, but not before the most eccentric one (some competition there) pasted a 'GOOD LUCK' sticker on my nose. I think you can guess who. I better take it of... Oh, what the heck. I'm already swathed with the things, so one extra bit of humiliation isn't going to make much difference. In for a penny, in for a dollar as they say...

Not that I have many dollars to my name now, after being disinherited just a few minutes ago...

Though, I'd fight anyone to the death who says it wasn't worth it.

Regardless, it's almost showtime. I hope I don't screw it up...

I take one last look at the Pines and my new friends for courage, then signal to everyone I'm ready to begin speaking...

AANND... ROLL CAMERA.

"Hello everyone. My name is Pacifica Northwest. You may remember me from such mediocre social occasions as Pioneer Day and The Annual Northwest Shindig. But, getting serious for a minute, I was your typical walking one-dimensional bleached blonde valley girl stereotype. That's a phrase one of my former enemies used to described me, and you know what, it fit me to a tee..."

I winked at Mabel on the sidelines at this point, and going by her expression she got the reference, as well as the little golf joke at the end there. Poor Dipdop just looked confused... (Wait, what did I just call him?!)

"I treated people very badly" I continued, my head bowed. "I thought that money, status and power were the key to happiness. That notion was forced into my mind by my parents, who most of you will just had the 'pleasure' of meeting. Their rule of law over me was absolute, and instigated with constant harsh punishments and the use of a bell to train me like a circus animal. It seemed that I was surely doomed to be just another link on the rotten Northwest family chain. I was **lost**."

My eyes filled with moisture at this point, but I quickly wiped them clean. I had to go on.

"Then, one wonderful summer's day, two very special twins came to our little hamlet of Gravity Falls. At first, I dismissed the girl as being a sad, pathetic little weirdo with a grandma's name , and the boy as a lame dork who couldn't tear himself away from his nerd book. How wrong was I. Despite treating both of them like the dirt which I'm currently covered in, they both gave me a second chance,then a third chance, and in doing so not only saved me from my parents, but also from **myself**. Please give it up for Mabel and Dipper... Not his real name, by the way."

Applause all around. Cheers aimed at the siblings, and they deserved every single clap that came their way. Dipper, still looking a bit anxious, gave a half-hearted wave to the crowd, while Mabel of course was revelling in the attention, even picking up a randomly wandering Waddles and holding him aloft like some kind of trophy. TOMORROW'S FRONT PAGE: GIRL LIFTS PIG.

Waiting until the cheers had faded, I carried on. "I'd like to bring them up in a little while, to explain more about what makes them the fantastic people they are, but first..." At this point I turned around to 'greet' a typically clueless Chad and my old pals, a terrified-looking Tiffany and Chantal. "I have to exorcise a few old demons, the same way the Ghost Harrassers do at 9PM every weekday on the Used To Be About History Channel." (At this point, I gave a meaningful look to Dipper. He nodded back shyly. **What a cuti**... I mean, moving on.)

I told the cameras to follow me as I took the brief walk towards the three stooges, to confront them this new, headstrong Pacifica none of them had met before.

"Let's start with you Chad, shall we? Every girl's dreamboat, ain't you?"

"Er... babe, can't we go somewhere more private to discuss..."

"No, we **can't** because I know **exactly** what you'll want to do at that 'more private' place. You, together with your buddies Lennox and Macduffes... That's all you're into, isn't it? Sex. Not us girls' personalities. Not our unique features that make us who we are. You just want to get your tiny little wick wet, and then brag about it afterwards to anyone who'll listen. Well sorry, but Pacifica a la mode is off the menu. Go and give your crabs to another restaurateur. Don't deny it, either. I saw that slip of paper you dropped after your little trip to the clinic. I chose to ignore it until now, because what can I say... I was **desperate**. The thing about people though, is that they change. I've found more important things to fill my life with now, than a sleazy one night stand in the back of your rustbucket, such as friendship and love. So, I no longer require your services. Thank you for your interest, though. Don't call again. Oh, and one more thing. My name isn't 'babe'. It's PACIFICA."

I don't know what upset him more, not getting an easy roll in the hay that evening with the town's most eligible debutante, or being outed as having an easily transmittable affliction in front of a global audience (I don't think any girl watching will sccumb quite so easily to his 'charms' now). Whatever the reason, he looked pretty pissed as he trudged off, even kicking a stone in his anger. Ooh, what a hardman. I really messed up letting that fine specimen of manhood go.

Anyway, ignoring the laughter and cries of 'sick burn' that permeated the air, it was time for me to move onto my old girl friends. After the way I'd just verbally crucified my ex, they were understandably worried, holding onto each other as if my words were razors that could tear them asunder. Well, let's see how they felt after I'd finished with them...

"Tiffany? Chantal? "

"Y...yes?" They stuttered together. It was like they felt they were talking to a stranger. Perhaps they were, compared to the girl I was before.

"We've ruled the school together for a few years, but not in a good way. We've bullied people almost on an hourly basis. We've intimidated, picked on, laughed at, threatened, taunted, blackmailed and even swirlied virtually every other pupil there. As the Alpha, most of it is my responsibility, as you two were only following my orders. But, you still must bear the brunt of what you did there, along with me. I'm looking to make a fresh start now, and will be getting on stage tomorrow at school to issue a formal apology to everyone I've affected with my meanness, as part one in a process to make amends for my past misdeeds. I was kind of wondering..."

At this juncture, I put one hand on both their shoulders, as I pleadingly looked in their eyes:

"Would you two like to... Join me up there? Then we can start being friends again... The **proper** way this time?"

 **Author's note: Hey, everyone, after 8 months(!) I'm back. Hope you're glad to have me. The reason for my delay is I got into other fandoms, and the reason I'm back is because the many nice comments I got in the intervening period. So, thanks for that.**

 **Nothing else to add, only that the final Gravity Falls episode needed about 90% more Pacifica. Very disappointing. Fear ye not though, as I'll be doing my level best to redress the balance here. Hope you like the new writing style as well, cos it's here to stay. Toodles for now... :)**


	15. Chapter 15

My two ex-friends (though hopefully, that was just a temporary state of affairs) were rendered speechless, both by my ebullient behaviour, and my surprise offer of peace when they must've been expecting a tongue-lashing of the highest order, the kind I just delivered mercilessly to the sad, bad, cad Chad. Guess those poetry lessons are really paying off, huh?

There was one big difference though, between the pair of apprehensive girlies before me, and Mr Too-Big-For-His-Sweatpants. He was beyond saving as far as I was concerned, that macho sexism he wore like a badge of honour was here to stay, and I couldn't do anything to help him. Maybe, if he decides to seek professional help in a few years, they could point him in the right direction... but as for his present condition, not a chance. You might as well ask Stan to stop being a shameless con artist.

I chose instead to devote all of my efforts to the ladies who, despite the fact that we commited some pretty atrocious acts together, have been good pals of mine through thick-and-thin while the twins have been gallivanting around the country. During our quieter moments, when we weren't exhorting money from the innocent or pushing nerd's heads down the lavatory, we actually got on really well.

Maybe, if I hadn't lead them down my destructive path of bullying others to placate my own inner demons, like some sort of wicked pied piper, they wouldn't have been corrupted to this extent. Oh well, all I can do is try to remedy it now.

"So, what do you think?" I pressed them further, not even daring to breath. Tiffany and Chantal continued to stare at each other gormlessly, while the Pines, their acquaintances and a global television audience hung on the edge of their seats for their reply. Who'd have thought this was going to happen, when I rose from a goose-feather mattress this morning, with only a debauched party on my mind?

At long last, Tiffany lips began to quiver, and this is what she had to say... "Paz, I sort of knew from the beginning what we were doing was wrong, but I've never been very good at standing up for myself, so I kinda went with the flow. The fact is... I used to be picked on at junior school, and I thought by surrounding myself with you guys and following your example, I would be protected from ever having to go through that crap again. But now I know how you truly feel, I'm more than happy to join you in making a fresh start and put the past behind me. The question is though, what helped you make this decision? I've never known you to talk like this before..."

"Well, as you've no doubt noticed..." I stole a look at Mabel and her friends waving in the background, while my eyes lingered on a strangely reticent Dipper for a bit longer than I intended. "I had a little help setting my mind straight, give or take a bit of abduction and sticker collecting. Anyway, welcome to the good side, Tiff! There's cakes and ice cream for all. Now, get on over here, so we can seal the deal properly!"

"What are you _talking_ about? I see no unsigned contract..." Tiffany was understandably confused. Common, everyday expressions never were her strong suit.

"I mean like _this_ , silly!" I giggled impishly, and without further ado I engulfed her in the most all-encompassing of clinches, barely giving her enough air to inhale. Mabel's lessons in affection must really be paying off.

"W-what, what are you doing?!" Tiffany struggled in my firm grasp, to no apparent avail. "W-what is this?! Are you trying to _strangle_ me? I though we were friends again... **WHEEZE**."

"It's called a 'hug', Tiff..." I grinned, while continuing to hold her close. "Why, don't you get any of them at home ?"

"N-not really. Mama and Papa always told me that such sickening displays were for the soft-hearted poorer folk..." She replied, before an invisible light bulb seemed to appear just above her head. "You mean to tell me... that's something _else_ I've been misinformed about, too?"

"Yep, I'd certainly say so..." I leaned over to whisper in Tiffany's ear. "Don't forget, I'm one of the 'poorer folk ' now too, so I may be a little biased. But, hugs are _great_! You should try them out for yourself, they always make you feel better! Not everything your parents tell you is right, you know. I learned that the hard way, as you just saw a moment ago..."

"Oh, yes. Sorry about that, by the way. I had no idea how hard things were for you at home..." Tiffany looked down the ground in regret as she said that, and that's when I realised she was definitely steering in the correct direction, signposted 'empathy'.

"It's okay, Tiff..." I reassured her with a gentle pat on the back. "You didn't know because I never told you. I was too embarrassed and ashamed that Preston and Priscilla had me dangling by their strings, to let anyone else know. That's why I had the attitude I did at school, because I was taking out my frustrations on those around me. Thankfully, those days are over now. I have good friends I can confide in and who'll support me, and I'll hope you'll be one of them. So, are you up for it? Do you want to climb up on that stage with me tomorrow, and apologise to those we used and abused for so long?"

"I-I don't know..." Tiffany noticeably quaked in my arms , her placid expression covering up the turmoil that must be cascading inside her brain. "I-I mean, it's one thing turning over a leaf and starting anew, but totally another humiliating yourself in front of all your peers. W-what happens if they start beating me up as soon as the assembly is over, to get revenge? I-I'm not sure I could handle being at the bottom of the food chain again..."

"Tiff, _no-one_ is going to think that of you, not as long as you have me by your side." I told her defiantly, gripping onto her shoulders. "It takes a lot more strength to admit that you were wrong, than portraying a fake facade for years and years. Believe me, I'm talking from personal experience here. Also, if anyone _does_ decide to seek retribution afterwards, they'll have Pacifica Northw... well, plain Pacifica to deal with. I may not have my 'auspicious' family name to boss anyone around now, but I can still knock a grown man down at ten paces with just a single glare or a sassy remark. You believe me, right?"

"Of _course_ I do, Paz. I just saw how you handled your Fathe... _sorry_ , I mean Preston... and it was wonderful." Tiffany chuckled, all her fears now apparently extinguished. "Sure, okay then, I'll give it a go. I may have to endure a bit of ridicule in the short term afterwards, but as long as you're there, I think I'll survive. Also, can I add as a sidenote, these 'hug' things are pretty damn good at cheering you up, aren't they...?"

I finally released her from my cozy prison upon hearing her approval, before giving her what I hoped was some good advice for later. "Don't be afraid to talk to someone you trust if you have _anything_ , big or small, on your mind. I tried to tough out my own problems, and just look what almost happened... it nearly _destroyed_ me. I'll see you tomorrow then, nice and early. I'll save you a space on stage front-centre, next to me and the Ghostcatche... _I mean_ , Dipper over there..."

Tiffany couldn't help but notice my slight slip of the tongue there, along with the scarlet blush that accompanied it. "Ghostcatcher, _eh_? What a nice petname you've given him. Could this be... the same boy who assisted you with that little poltergiest problem a few years ago? The one with the totally out-of-fashion cap and the messy brown hair, who's been looking at you with total admiration ever since you started speaking to me? Actually, don't bother to answer that... I think I already know the answer..."

I turned even redder upon hearing her unravel me so easily, and my stammered response didn't exactly help matters. "I-I don't know _what_ you're talking about, Tiff. W-we're just friends, that's all. H-he's helping me through a very difficult time in my life. I-I'd appreciate if you didn't spread these false rumours around..."

"Yeah _sure,_ 'false' rumours..." Tiffany playfully chided me, with a little nudge to my midriff. " Just like that whole stiletto vs heels debate thing is made up, eh? I was going to offer to let you stay at my place now you've been kicked out of your mansion... but I think I know who's bed you'll be warming instead. I just hope there's enough room inside for both you, and your 'good friend'. Didn't take you long to move on, did it? You little heartbreaker..."

I fumed at the sheer arrogance and rudeness of her almost totally correct synopsis, gnashing my teeth violently throughout my two word reply. " **You... you..."**

"Have a good rest of the night, you sexy thing!" Tiffany hurried away before I could really give her a piece of my mind. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do, if you know what I mean! Oh, and in the future, if I have any troubles, I will talk to someone I trust... _you_ , Pacifica! Ciao!"

She began to fade into the distance, although not without posing seductively for a few shots which might just make the cut for the next morning's papers. Classic Tiff. She might have turned her back on her past misdeeds, but she'll always be an attention hog.

Her final words of faith in me though, had given my self-confidence a huge boost, and I began to feel that recent events were beginning to resemble a glorious human chain of redemption, unlike the rusty catena I used to be a part of. (My Latin lessons had apparently worked wonders for me, too. Look up 'catena'. I'm so smart...)

Mabel and friends got the link started by helping me to see the light, I've just continued the trend and hopefully done something similar by turning Tiffany into a better person, and next in line at the 'redeem me' queue is good ol' Chantal...

 _I wish_. I'm still waiting for her reply...

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Don't start reading the last rites for this fic just yet, it's not quite dead. One more chapter maybe, and an epilogue, then you can book the church for the funeral.

I've made it my mission in life to finish off all the fics I started, no matter how long it takes. Lack of time and inspiration are my main stumbling blocks, but I'll get there in the end. Honest. Until next time now... :)


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